Categories
Self Love Blogs

Almost Half Way There!

2018 – Mid Way Point Check In!

Wow! TIME, such a variable concept!  Sometimes it flies, sometimes it drags, sometimes you want it to stop in the moment you are in and at other times you want to rewind it back.

Maybe you want to escape your present moment and fast forward to the future. Sometimes you look back at a far gone memory as if it was only yesterday, so it feels like no time has actually passed!

We are now approaching the half way point of 2018What’s it been like for you so far?

How many New Year Resolutions have you kept? – Were you full of motivation at the beginning of the year and has this  faded away now? Or have you exceeded your expectations? 

Did you take part in the 21 Day Self Love Challenge in January? Have you been able to maintain this throughout the year?  What is your level of Self Love now, compared to January? 

NOW is a good chance to Check In with yourself and review where you are at. What has gone well? What changes have you made for your best interest? Have you come across other things you were not expecting to? Maybe new opportunities have crossed your path? Did you embrace these or turn them away? What was behind your decisions?  How is your health? Have you been taking care of yourself holistically; Mind, Body and Soul? 

Moving Forward, what do you feel you need to change, maintain or let go off? What do you want more of in your life? What steps do you need to take in order to achieve this? Do you need to make an action plan? This previous blog post might help to inspire you; Simple Ways to Create More Happiness. 

Celebrate what has gone well – This is important, as quite often we reflect on what we have NOT done opposed to what we HAVE done. Think about all the stuff that has gone well and all the situations you have dealt with in a positive way – those moments that gave you joy and the times you allowed yourself to feel free and go with the flow of life rather than worrying about things not in your control. 

Transition – I always say change is one constant factor in our lives. We always face change, whether it is planned or unexpected, whether you resist it or not CHANGE HAPPENS . Having gone through so many changes this past year myself (and still in transition), what has ‘anchored’ me during this time is to tune into myself, connect with my inner spirit and use my intuition to guide me to make decisions best for me. 

Your Inner Spirit – How to connect with it?  There are many ways to do this. I like to journal, meditate and reflect. I love to spend some time in solitude (which admittedly I have done less of the last 2 months due to changes  – but I have been craving it and WILL create more time for it now!)

Other ways to connect to your inner spirit, might be to go out in nature, do yoga, just ‘sitting with yourself’, taking time out for relaxing activities, being creative and doing things because you enjoy them, not because you have to do them!

Take time out for you!

‘Listen to your own voice, your own soul. Too many people listen to the noise of the world, instead of themselves’ (Leon Brown)

 

The more you connect with your inner spirit, the more in line you will become with your true self and your intuition will be enhanced. The key is to learn to TRUST it. 

So are you ready? Ready to take a bit of time out to do a 2018 Mid Way Point Check in!

Don’t get lost in everyday worries – take this time out to imagine and create the second half of your year. 

Love and Light

Sukhi 

Categories
Self Help Blogs

The VOID

I was talking to a friend who recently broke up with her partner about how now is a good time for her to ‘find herself’ (cliche!) and reconnect with who she is, what she likes doing in order to build that relationship up with herself, as we can lose this in a relationship. Although this can be a daunting process (as most of us are afraid to really meet ourselves) it is where healing takes place.

My friend has already signed up to dating websites.  On one hand I think that’s great, she is ‘moving on’ and being proactive – and it is good to socialise with people to lift your spirits, however is she really moving on, or just trying to quickly fill the void her ex has left her with? A quick fix solution, will only fill the cracks, but the cracks will still be there. We discussed this void within her – she acknowledged she was trying to fill the gap as did not want to be left with her own thoughts. Starting a new relationship from this state of mind can be unhealthy.

The universe never ceases to amaze me when it throws in synchronicities (meaningful coincidences) as later that day we got talking to someone randomly about meditation who shared that he’d always kept himself busy and doing ‘nothing’ use to make him feel really uncomfortable so he’d do ‘stuff’ all the time to fill the void.

I feel my friend needed to hear this, as it normalised her feelings but it also gave her hope (a bit anyway…that is a start!). He said once he learnt to get past the initial ‘pain barrier’ of facing the void inside him, he started to feel much more comfortable being in his own company and things really shifted for him. Obviously this does not happen over night. Everyone at their own pace.

For us to be truly happy we need to address our voids; emptiness and loneliness. People tend to avoid such feelings as they can be painful and bring anxiety to the surface, they therefore keep the void ‘stuffed’ up by perhaps spending money; retail therapy, eating too much, smoking, drinking, working too much, keeping busy, jumping from one relationship to another etc.

Most of the time this is unconscious, we don’t even realise we are doing it. In my earlier twenties I still remember my counselling tutor saying, ‘I wonder if you’re keeping yourself busy to fill the emptiness inside you’. He was right, but I didn’t realise consciously at the time that I was feeling empty! I learnt that keeping busy had become a  defence mechanism I developed from an early age which actually can be an unconscious form of ‘avoiding’.

Becoming more self aware is bringing the unknown into the known – brining what is unconscious to you into your conscious mind. It is only then you can enable change, because if you don’t know what is underlying, how will you know you need to work on it? Counselling courses take you on a journey of self discovery and exploring your inner world – but I will save that for another blog!

If you resonate with filling a potential void inside you, then I’d encourage you to reflect on some of the following. 

What are you hiding from? What do you think you might realise if you allowed yourself space? What is the worst thing that might happen? How would you survive the worst case scenario? Because you WILL survive! A lot of people are afraid that if they allowed themselves to feel the pain, the sadness, the guilt, or whatever the feelings might be, that they won’t come through the other end. Not ‘giving in’ to these feelings suggests an internal battle, but YOU are the one fighting it! Perhaps you feel you need to ‘be strong’, but it takes more strength to face your feelings right? This can also be linked to ego, which again is another topic for another blog!

Try giving yourself time, to be with just ‘you’ for only 5 minutes a day to start of with, you can do longer if you’d like. No phone, no people… just you -simply notice how this makes you feel, both physically and emotionally. Do you have aches and pains in your body you did not notice before? What are you feeling? Strange, for doing this!?! Agitated, relaxed, sad? Do you feel like running away from yourself, or do you feel peace?  Make a note of these each time. By doing so you are acknowledging the feelings that are trying to get your attention! Acknowledging is the first step, and sometimes that is all that is needed. Just acknowledging thougths, feelings and pain can actually help them to reduce. Remember your feelings are not bigger than you. They will pass and won’t last forever.No-one can fill your void – only you can! 

‘What a lovely surprise to finally discover how unlonely being alone can be’ Quote by Ellen Burstyn

Thanks for reading, have a great day!