11th March; Weekly Challenge; Your Inner Mother

Happy Mother’s Day to all those celebrating in the UK. 

I think it is also important to acknowledge that today not everyone will be celebrating Mothers Day due to loss and separation

Your Inner Mother

This week, let’s focus on developing our Self Love, by tapping more into our internal mother! 

This is the part of us within us, that nurtures and takes care of ourselves. It is the healthy part of ourselves that soothes the parts that need comfort, reassurance, healing and bit of tlc every now and then. 

It is the part of us, that shows compassion to ourselves. The part of us, that tells us to rest, take good care, make positive choices, say no to ‘negative’ things etc 

It is the part of us that encourages SELF LOVE. 

Your challenge for this week; 

Notice Her

Notice, your Inner Mother throughout the week, when ‘she’ appears, guiding you to look after yourself? What does this feel like? Do you ignore it? Do you delay or postpone your Self Care? 

What is that part saying or guiding you to do? 

Make Space for her

Make space  for your inner mother. Give her time and space. Acknowledge her and spend a few moments to tune into the guidance. Your challenge is to act upon the guidance. 

Honor what that part of you is guiding you to do – take action on daily things. 

Practice listening to that part of you which encourages Self Care and Self Love. Notice the parts in you which act as barriers to this – the parts that cause conflict and make you feel like you should not take time out for yourself in a positive way. 

Face the conflict 

Try not to allow any negative thoughts to potentially get in the way of your Self Love. 

‘I deserve to be happy. I overcome any barriers getting in the way of me developing more Self Love.’ (Read this affirmation out loud, repeat it a few times) – When you notice negative thoughts then replace them with this affirmation. Say it out loud or in your mind. 

Celebration of maternal bonds

Check out my previous post from 2016, where I touch upon how counselling can help you to develop the inner mother . 

By developing and embracing your internal mother, you begin to feel more content within yourselves. ‘Last week on social media I asked the question, if you feel at home within yourself’  40 % of you said no, that you don’t. 

Practice developing Self Love – the more you learn to love and accept yourself, the more at home you will feel within yourself. 

Have a great week. 

Sukhi

25th Feb – Weekly Challenge – Post Valentines Alchemy

Post Valentines Trip

I spent the week post valentines, in a village in India (after 26 years) from where my mum’s family originate from, to celebrate a family wedding.

We were joined by family from across the globe, different ages and generations of family gathered from Canada, Africa and the USA. Some meeting after several years!

Emotions were mixed, remembering those we’d sadly lost during the time in between, with feelings of happiness for new beginnings that lie ahead. 

“Family, like branches in a tree, we all grow in different directions, yet our roots remain as one.” – Author Unknown. 

Our family roots deeply embedded in the history of this little village. Now, the majority of us reside outside of India acquiring different lifestyles to each other, perhaps holding somewhat different attitudes and values from another. Our aspirations and dreams also varying.  Although we are defined by the same RACE, our ETHNIC and CULTURAL experiences differ.  

All these differences make us ‘UNIQUE’ – a topic we explored a few weeks ago; ‘What makes you, you?’ 

An Unspoken Understanding and Acceptance

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE (despite all our differences) connected each and every one of us together during this time in India.

Unconditional love is the template to all relationships, including the one with ourselves. As a human race, we are all so diverse, yet so similar – in that the one thing that connects us is the language of love; the desire to love and be loved… which lies in being truly accepted by another. 

It’s not just about romantic love! 

Valentines, would have been determined by your views and personal circumstances, but as the 5 Day Valentines Love Challenge was not just based on ‘romantic love’ I trust that you would have connected with the love for yourself and in turn for others around you, despite the relationship label.  

The Alchemist 

On the plane ride back from India, I started to read ‘The Alchemist’, it’s quite an old book, first published in 1988, so might already have been read by many of you, if not it is worth a read!

I have not yet finished the book, but it is about FOLLOWING YOUR DREAMS.  To do this we must let go of others expectations and judgements, find the love within us and follow our heart. We must realise that hardships on the way are actually blessings in disguise and we must not allow fear to defeat us. When your dream is within reach, it’s about having the courage to finally grasp it and fulfil it, and beat any temptation to sabotage something you so truly want. 

 

This Weeks Challenge

An Alchemist is someone who turns any metal into gold – so metaphorically speaking an Alchemist is someone who can turn anything into something beautiful. It can turn Darkness into Light, it can turn Hate into Love

So Your Challenge For This Week: Is to practice ALCHEMY! 

Stop, pause….. think…….respond with Love. Don’t react. Respond. 

When you feel fear, doubt, or any other negative emotion – show yourself love, be kind to yourself – don’t be defeated by these feelings. Today I felt uncertainty for the first time in a while. I had to check out my Self Care Tool Kit, and decide what I needed to do in order to deal with the feelings associated with upcoming changes.  

Don’t ignore the feelings you get, acknowledge them and then turn them into something positive; self compassion, self love or do something creative or physical. 

When you are faced with a challenging situation or person, respond to them with compassion, understanding and love. Don’t take it personally – don’t allow negative feelings from them to project onto you. Sometimes it can help to visualise a see-through shield around you when you are with such people. Imagine that any negativity from others bounces off this shield and returns back to them with love. 

So are  you up for this challenge? Are you ready to transmute fear, doubt, guilt and any other uncomfortable feeling  and turn it into LOVE?

I look forward to hearing about how you got on!

Until next week – Love and Light,

Sukhi  

 

 

 

 

Day 5- What is important in a partnership to you?

Day 5, of the Valentines Love Challenge!

I write this as I get ready to jet off to India in a couple of hours, to celebrate a family wedding – so love will be in the air!

What do you need in a partnership/relationship to keep love in the air?

Quite often we think  of the things we don’t want in a partner, rather than thinking of the things we want. Have you ever just thought about what DO YOU WANT? Rather than what you don’t..

If you are single have a think – write down, for example I want my partner to be…….. understanding, fun, easy to talk to, adventurous… think of what you really WANT!

If you are in a relationship, you can do the same. Don’t focus on your partners flaws – we all have them right? Focus on what you already have in your relationship, that you LOVE! Also think about what you want more of in your relationship – or maybe you want something NEW or DIFFERENT in your relationship.

Write all these down. Visualise that you already have them. How does that feel? Focus on the feelings of GAIN not LOSS. This can help to elevate your relationship to the next level.

Finally what are the most important things in a relationship to you?

Relationships are 50 / 50. All you can do is be responsible for doing you 50% . 

Communication is key – To me, communication is really important in a relationship. When is the last time you spent time communicating with your partner, not just about the daily things you need to do, but about ideas, concepts, life in general, how you feel about something. 

Express, don’t repress – If you have something on your mind it’s best to share it with each other. Where we stop communicating, we create distance. Assumptions and misunderstandings begin. I think in a relationship you should be able to talk to your partner about anything – even if you have different views, it is about accepting that there are differences, but that is OK. 

What are the most important things in a relationship to you?

We need to Love, Honor and Respect ourselves first (Words from my Reiki Teacher). It is then, we build our own self worth and begin to believe that we do deserve to be happy. 

I’ll leave you to ponder on the above. 

Thank You for taking part in this Challenge – It would be great to hear your feedback!

Love and Light!

Sukhi

 

 

Day 4 – What is True Love?

Happy Post Valentine’s Day! 

What is true love?  Just a few thoughts from me…

True love is loving without expectations –  Accepting each other for the way you are. When we start to put expectations on each other, we start to expect change right, so how is that accepting each other. What do you think?

True love works through stuff-  Every couple has ups and downs, but true love is when you both work it out  – Take responsibility for your actions and not slip into blame. It’s owning your stuff and moving on from it!

True Love is freedom – Loving without ‘attachment’, not ‘clinging’, or ‘possessing’. Allowing each other to spread their wings. 

True Love is growing together – Allowing each other to grow. Encouraging each other to be true to themselves.  True love is allowing each other to evolve and transform.

True love is following your heart and instincts – It is said that we take the biggest risks with our hearts. True love is not allowing the ego to get in the way of the heart. True love is letting go of the ‘mind’ and loving from the heart space. Do you agree?

True Love is being a unit – Coming together as a ‘unit’ as well as encouraging individuality, is true love. Both need to exist. Not one or the other. Being yourselves as individuals, and coming together as a couple. 

True Love is letting go – Not holding grudges, but communicating about what has bothered you and moving on from it. Not holding on to things from the past. True love let’s that go. Acknowledge it, resolve it, accept it and move on!

True Love accepts difference – We are all unique – you may have things in common with your partner (which I believe you do need, what do you think?), but we also need to accept each others differences. 

True Love is not Black or White, it isn’t even Grey – It is colourful. 

True love does not only desire to be loved – it desires to truly love. 

What does true love mean to you?

Have a wonderful Post Valentines Day. 

Love Sukhi

 

 

Day 3 – Love True Essence

Happy Valentines folks – regardless of your relationship status! Today, if you don’t have a valentine – then be your own valentine!

LOVE YOURSELF FIRST – Be your own other/better half! 

If you’re feeling a bit crap today, then do something to lift your spirits; watch your favourite movie, have  bubble bath, do something relaxing. Think about all the positive reasons to be single! Do something creative perhaps. Treat yourself to something nice!

Recently through the January Self Love Challenge, I re-connected with an old passion; art. This has in such a short time become really important to me in terms of Self Love and creativity. Is there something creative you can reconnect with?

Creatvity connects us to our soul and to the vibration of love (I believe).

“People should fall in love with their eyes closed” -Andy Warhol 

Fall in love with yourself. Accept yourself. Be more of your true self. 

What do you love (or like) about yourself? As part of this challenge ask friends what they like about you?

If you stripped away all the material things in your life, what would you be left with? For a moment, close your eyes to the world around you. Who are the most important people in your life that you love, for who they truly are? Who do you truly accept for their inner world? Who do you feel connected to on a deep level? Do you truley feel accepted by anyone else? Do you accept yourself?

Today, think about the falling in love with the essence of people. Who do you truley love? 

Have a wonderful day 🙂

Love, Sukhi

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Day 2 – Falling in love

Today, let’s think about the concept of Falling in Love!

What does this mean? How do we know we are in love? Today I  am just throwing some of my thougths and ideas out there – for you to reflect and ponder about in relation to  Falling In Love.

It would be interesting to hear your views too -There is no right or wrong – we are all unique individuals with our very unique experience of love and therefore our relationship with love will also be unique. 

Butterflies in the stomach, sleepless nights, loss of appetite…

Is this a symptom of falling in love? We have all been there right?  All the excitement at the beginning of a relationship; the honeymoon period…

All these symptoms can also be a sign of anxiety – So is there a fine line between falling in love and anxiety – Or is it excitement and fear rolled into one? Fear of rejection perhaps? 

“The Buddhists say if you meet somebody and your heart pounds, your hands shake, your knees go weak, that’s not the one. When you meet your ‘soul mate’ you’ll feel calm. No anxiety, no agitation.”

Continue reading Day 2 – Falling in love

DAY 1 – Romantic Gestures

Valentines is not just for romantic partners! It is an opportunity to express your love to anyone, family, friends -Although, of course we don’t need to wait for valentines day to do this. In that case Valentines should be everyday and we should keep the vibe of love alive daily! 

It’s not always possible to do this though right? When your’re having a stressful day, or a driver cuts you up and the road rage kicks in. You work with some people that you find challenging – it can be really hard to keep vibing on love.  Compassion sits  hand in hand with love, and it might feel easier to consider practicing compassion towards the driver that cut you up, than love, – maybe they are having an even more stressful day than you! You never know what is going on in others lives!

Anyway, moving back to Valentines, let’s think about how you can start your week off with Love. 

If you are in a relationship, do an unexpected romantic gesture for your partner. Maybe you could surprise them with a little note in their lunch box, bag or coat pocket etc. Could you send them an unexpected romantic text in the day… maybe you can notice where in your routine romance has slipped (quite common in long term relationships)- can this be reignited?  Making sure you don’t leave the house in the morning without a kiss goodbye (assuming you did). Creating some time in your day, and ask each other how your day was – but do this with undivided attention. Little things like that make big differences in your relationship. 

Do something your partner will like and not be expecting! 

If you are single, you can still do this too. Just pick someone you are close to. It does not have to be a romantic partner. Being single, does not mean you can’t enjoy yourself too! I guess it depends how you feel about being single?  I personally feel it is a great reminder for you to really think about your Self Love this week!

Plan an activity for this week, to pamper yourself and relax – whatever tickles your fancy. If you prefer to rather connect with others, then do that. You could try a new place to eat or drink with a friend or family – treat yourself to something nice! Do something different, or go somewhere different that you have not been before.

Also if being single is bothering you, reflect on/write down all the positives of being single! There are lots; the trouble is society and culture don’t normally portray that, so have a wonder if it is society influencing how you feel about being single, or is it you?!

If you’re relationship has recently ended then this can be a really difficult time for you, with all the reminders of love around you in the shops, TV, social media – especially if you are not feeling so great about the break up! Be kind to yourself and concentrate on yourself as hard as it may feel. 

Sadly relationships do come and go, however our friends and family usually remain constant. Have they supported you through the break up? Express your gratitude towards them. Maybe send them a Thank You Card with a loving message -What other gesture could you show?

It is also useful to look back at your lost relationship and reflect on what you gained from it, how did you grow, what have you learnt? Do this, rather than focusing on what you have lost.

So hopefully these will kick start your Love Challenge. These activities and gestures you can continue with throughout the week. 

Tomorrow we are going to explore the idea of falling in love. 

Have a good day!

Sukhi 🙂

 

 

11th Feb – Weekly Challenge – Are you ready for the 5 Day Valentine’s Love Challenge?

Welcome back, or hello and welcome (If it’s your first time!). 

Following the 21 Day Self Love Challenge in January, I have started these weekly Self Love Challenges posted on a Sunday night for the week ahead!

Last week the challenge was to think about What Makes You, You ? – What is unique about you?

This week we are going to be looking at the theme of LOVE (as Valentines creeps up on us) and how SELF LOVE fits into our Love for others!

You can take part in this challenge regardless of your relationship status!

The aim of the challenge is to Stop and Reflect on Love – That’s it! Sounds simple right!? I started to re-explore the concept of love (In more depth recently) based on personal and professional experiences and observations. For many years I have supported clients to work through their current obstacles in life, which have stemmed from their early experiences; these shape how we relate to ourselves and others.

When we throw all our experiences of love, right from day dot into the mix, we might find quite a cocktail! Therefore our very own personal experience of love will determine the different types, levels and lengths of love we experience. 

In a nutshell, some types of love, from my perspective;

-Platonic Love

-Co-dependant Love / Fear, attachment based love

-Romantic Love – an ‘In Love’ Love

– ‘Fallen out of Love’ Love 

-Unexplained Love; Where the heart knows, but the mind can’t explain

-Convenient Love 

-Familial Love – The type of love we have for family – this might be ‘unconditional’ or ‘conditional’ depending on our experiences

-Deep, caring, affectionate type of love 

-Karmic love – Returning for ‘clearing’ and ‘healing’ (Depending  on spiritual views), therefore we could get into Soul Love and Cosmic Love as well

-Suffocating / engulfed Love / Overprotective Love 

*If you feel you are experiencing Domestic Abuse – Please click here for more information and support*

-Ultimately, there is Unconditional Love. The ‘be all and end all’ type of love!

I can carry on forever, but do you get the jist?

Love can seem quite complex, when we try to make sense of the relationships it resides in, but once we strip away all these different types of love, the type of love that promises to be the most life changing (and in theory, the most simple – But not necessarily in practice – initially anyway!) is SELF LOVE. This type of love will form a solid foundation for any other type of love, with ‘another’; UNCONDITIONAL SELF LOVE. 

If you missed The 21 Day Self Love Challenge you can check it out anytime and work through it at your leisure. 

Over the next 5 Days, each morning a challenge for the day will be posted around 6am (Pre Scheduled!) – So keep a look out. As usual there will be reminders on Facebook and Instagram, where you can also get involved in conversations and voting polls – it’s always insightful to get your views! Are you ready for the challenge? Yes or No? 

I’m looking forward to it! Catch you tomorrow 💕💕

Love, Sukhi 🙂 

 

4th Feb – Weekly Challenge – What makes you, you?

*Last weeks challenge was about you starting to do something creative that connects you to your joy and passion – Did you do this? What was it like? How did it feel? Did it make a difference in anyway?

* Keep this up! Try to make it a regular part of your week*

This week, in line with Children’s Mental Health Week, let’s reflect on the theme of ‘being ourselves’. 

We are all unique beings, with our own unique way. What makes you, you? Sometimes society and culture stop us from being who we truly are. These expectations make us feel that we need to conform, rather than embrace our true self. 

This week, be yourself! 

Here are a few challenges to help you along the way!

 

Monday

Think about 3 positive qualities to describe  yourself as to how you see yourself (Only positives). 

Think about 3 positive qualities that people might use to describe you. How do  you think others see you (even though you might not). 

Wednesday 

We all have parts of us that remain hidden from others. We might share different parts of ourselves with different people. 

Today take the risk to share something about yourself, that you normally would not share with others. It does not have to be anything major. 

Reflect on why you might keep this hidden – Is it due to fear, judgement? Is it because you feel others might not accept this about you? How much does it matter if they do?

Friday 

What makes you, you? What makes you unique? What is it about yourself that you feel is different?

This could be a personality trait or a special interest you have. It could be a secret talent. 

Think of reasons why having this unique quality is a good thing. Is this something you hide? How might you feel if you stopped hiding this? 

THIS WEEK, DARE TO BE YOU – More than you usually would!

Have a great week!

Sukhi

YOU ARE LIMITLESS