Category Archives: Weekly Self Love Challenge

Challenge Updates

Hey!

A few updates about future blogs and on-line challenges!

Weekly Challenges;

There is going to be a slight shift to the Weekly Challenges, on the Website. If you follow me on Instagram @enlightcounselling you will know that I am posting regular challenges and questions on there for you to get involved in.

Post Your Question; 

I am interested in what you want to hear? What topics are of interest to you? Do you have a question, that you want me to post? Curious about what other’s views are? Post your question to me, for me to anonymously ask the public on your behalf.

Future Self Letter Opening Challenge:

Following the 21 Day Self Love Challenge in January, it is now time to open the Love Letter you wrote to yourself – Access the challenge here

Articles; 

Interested in writing an article for Enlight? Get in touch, if this is something you would like to do. 

Blog; 

This will continue thriving to provide inspiration around your personal development.

Thank you for your support and engagement 🙂

Love, Sukhi 🙂 

 

Future Self – Letter Opening Challenge!

Hi Everyone – Welcome back!

If you took part in the 21 Day Self Love Challenge in January – you will recall that we closed the challenge by you writing a LOVE LETTER to yourself. You wrote this in January for the attention of your future self – to be opened week commencing 16th April! Well  it’s that time already!

Your Love Letter Reminder; 

In your letter you wrote; 

Dear (Your name) –  The future me. 

I am writing you this letter, to remind you (just in case you forgot!), about  The Self Love Challenge you took part in January 2018. 

Before The Self Love Challenge, you thought Self Love was……….

As you did The Self Love Challenge, you learnt that Self Love was……….

In 2017, you said you loved yourself (X) out of 10, with 10 being the highest. 

You realised that your Self Love Barriers were……….

As I read this letter from the OLD ME to the NOW ME, I have been reminded that I planned to show Self Love in the following areas:

Towards my Physical Health by……….

Towards my Emotional/Mental Health by……….

Towards my Spiritual Health by……….

When I finished The Self Love Challenge I loved myself (X) out of 10 and today as I read this letter I hoped to be a (X) out of 10.

This quote is especially for you……….

‘The biggest thing that you took away from the Challenge was…..’  

You made  a commitment to LOVE  YOURSELF over the last three months so, today let’s together reflect and celebrate this’

Time to Open your letter

Open your letter in your own time over this next week. 

If you did not write a letter, but took part in most of the challenge then maybe you can take this as an opportunity to reflect on your level of Self Care and Self Love. Were you raring to go in January, but somehow this slipped over the last few months? Or did you manage to maintain it – has your self love developed? 

If you did write a letter – open it! Read it, reflect on it – sit with it, let it digest. What areas have you developed? Which areas slipped? Discuss it with a friend if you like. 

Set another self review! 

Over the next week or so rethink setting yourself more Self Love Goals for over the next 3-4 months. Write yourself another letter perhaps? Or set a review date in your calendar ahead of time. 

I think if you diarise check in/reviews every few months, it can help to get back on track, should you fall off. It is a chance to re-evaluate and re-set goals. 

Use this week to do exactly this – reflect, review and reset goals! How are you going to shape the future you?!?

Through this, you will make Self Love a normal part of your life!

Thank you so much for taking part in this challenge! 

Love yourself more each and everyday!

Have a good week 🙂

Blessings, from Sukhi xx

 

 

 

 

25th March; Weekly Challenge -How true are you to you?

Welcome back to this weeks Self Love Challenge!

Last week was about raising your awareness and noticing how much you tune into your True Self and what potentially stops you from doing so i.e. the idea that you could hurt others in the process. 

Seesaw  – Did you notice if there was a balance between being true to yourself versus not being true to your yourself? Answer on the Facebook Poll Here. 

So, how do you know you ARE being true to yourself?

  • You accept yourself, the way you are
  • You love yourself unconditionally
  • You trust yourself, your intuition and make choices based on this
  • You make time for you and engage in things you enjoy…for you!
  • There is a sense of feeling happy and content within yourself regardless of how difficult your circumstances are
  • You feel that spark inside you and follow the things that you are passionate about
  • You are lead mostly by your heart 
  • You feel confident in yourself 

So, how do you know you are NOT being true to yourself?

  • You doubt your decisions often – you don’t trust you have made the right one
  • You are self critical often 
  • You ignore that gut feeling inside you
  • You don’t share your true thoughts and feelings with others… and even to yourself at times
  • Your head overrides your heart
  • You worry about other people judging you
  • You allow others to control you

Which one resonates with you more? Being in line with your true self or not? Perhaps you may answer differently for different times in your life. 

Lost Souls

The thing is we all get a little lost on the way at different points of our lives. We lose ourselves to the needs and expectations of others, without even consciously realising! Somehow we might end up putting ourselves last, and even forgot who we are!

Sometimes it can be years until that moment of realisation occurs – or perhaps it was there at the back of your mind all along, but you ignored it?

Are you leading the life you really want to? Are you happy in your circumstances? Perhaps the little voice inside wonders if there is more to life, more to YOU. Deep know do you know that you are not reaching your full potential? You still have dreams and desires you want to fulfil? – maybe you think they are not possible, so you gave them up… or everything else in life took priority and you ended up on the back seat? 

Getting back on track 

It is never ever too late to swap seats and get in the drivers position. It is not too late to find your way back to YOU, to connect to your own very self – After all, ultimately is that not what it is all about? The journey ‘back home’. This is the only place true happiness can be found.  

Our bodies are our physical homes –  we live in these every day! How much do you take care of this home of yours? Are you in tune with your body? Do you feel connected to it? When is the last time you gave it a spring clean? 

This Weeks Challenge 

Let’s focus on the physical body – Tune into your body. What does it feel like? Are there aches and pains – which part of the body are they on? Make a note. 

Our bodies act as channels and speak to us all the time, often through illness, pains, discomfort- do you get recurring unexplained symptoms? Wonder about what your body is trying to tell you.

For years I suffered with migraines. Years! I then about 10 years ago I started Pranayama yoga and through this realised how I carried so much stress and tension in my shoulders, and a lot of it was not even mine.  I felt responsible for others and was carrying all their ‘stuff’ on my shoulders around with me – this of course starts to weigh you down after a while.  My seesaw was out of balance.

This awareness gave me a choice to change things (Which I did) – I have never had a migraine since! Incredible right? I began to look after myself  more and balance the needs of mine and others, rather than prioritsing others needs before mine. 

What are the consequence of NOT being true to yourself?

Reflect on this. If you do not allow yourself to connect with yourself then what could happen? I’ve already mentioned physical ailments. What else might be a consequence? On instagram one person responded by writing Death of the true self.  Sounds a bit intense, but it is very true! It is the reality of not being true to you. 

What does death of the true self mean?

Which parts of us die? What does this feel like? Is this what causes anxiety? Depression? 

So going into this week we are continuing with the concept of our TRUE SELVES. 

Continue tuning into your true self and try taking some action this week – perhaps  speak your truth, express something you might usually swallow. Perhaps say NO to something because that is what your gut is guiding you to do. Notice what your body is telling you.    Wonder, if you did not respond to your true self, what might happen?

Look forward to touching base with you throughout this week on social media – I find your comments really useful, it keeps the concept of Self Love alive and hearing from you gives me great insight into your experiences and barriers to self love!

Have a great week – Love and Light

Sukhi 

 

18th March; Do you hurt others by being yourself?

Being Single Again

Earlier this week a friend reached out to me, who is struggling to come to terms with the recent loss of a long term relationship. She asked what does she need to do in order to be happy on her own? Her focus seems to have been around attracting a relationship, rather than being on her own. 

She needs to develop her SELF LOVE

No relationship with another is the answer to true happiness. This comes from feeling content and happy from within ourselves. Hoping a relationship will fill a ‘void’, is not the answer.  Learning to build a meaningful relationship with yourself is.

If you missed my 21 Day Self Love Challenge, feel free to check it out, to help you with ways to develop your Self Love, connect with your passions and find inner happiness. 

Self Love is not feeling amazing all the time!

This week I posted on Instagram that Self Love is about accepting yourself, where you are in that given moment. So it is about being kind to yourself. If you feel sad, or down Self Love is about being compassionate to yourself – not being hard on yourself. It is about allowing yourself ‘JUST TO BE’. 

Do you allow yourself ‘Just to be’?

When I asked this question on Instagram, I was surprised to find, that 53% of people said that they don’t! One comment I received was that by allowing yourself to just be, you end up hurting others.

Do you also feel this? 64% people agreed that upsetting others stops them from being themselves.

Questions to consider

If you believe that being yourself means upsetting others, ask yourself is this your perception? Are you making an assumption or pre-judging? How do you know that you will upset someone? What evidence is there?

If you find it is true that you being you means upsetting others, then wonder about ‘acceptance’ – one key factor that underpins healthy relationships. Are others not accepting you? Are others not allowing you to be? 

Or are you feeling responsible for others feelings? So, if someone did feel upset by you being authentic then are they not responsible for their own feelings? Not you? 

These might feel like challenging questions, so do take care when reflecting on them. 

THIS WEEKS CHALLENGE – Be Bold, Be Brave Enough to Be Your True Self – Queen Latifah 

Become aware everyday this week about how you are, how you behave, how you respond – Notice if you are being yourself. Are you really saying what you truly feel or think? 

Notice how much time are you spending doing things for other people, or being in situations you don’t really want to be in. Of course, we will always be in these situations, however I want you to notice how often you are in such situations compared to those that you truly do want to be in. 

Seesaw 

Is there a balance? Are you doing more of what you don’t want, than what you do want? If you are doing more of what you do want, then that is great! You are demonstrating that you are taking your needs into account and finding a way to priortise them. This is Self Love. 

If you are not doing this, then imagine what it might feel like to be able to be more of your true self and to show other people this too.  Imagine how you might feel if you allowed yourself to express what you truly want to, rather than hiding it? 

Pay attention to what stops you from allowing yourself from being you? Is it other people, or is it you? Is there such a thing as others stopping us, or is it more that we allow others to?

* Please note that I am not referring to relationships where there is domestic abuse. If you need further advice on this please call this helpline. 

Raising our self awareness gives us the power to make changes

This weeks challenge is to  just raise your self awareness, notice and become more conscious of the things you might usually do by default. 

Until next week, take care and remember that once we become aware, we then begin to see things as they are, and we can then make a choice to change things…if we want to. 

Bye for now!

Sukhi

 

 

 

11th March; Weekly Challenge; Your Inner Mother

Happy Mother’s Day to all those celebrating in the UK. 

I think it is also important to acknowledge that today not everyone will be celebrating Mothers Day due to loss and separation

Your Inner Mother

This week, let’s focus on developing our Self Love, by tapping more into our internal mother! 

This is the part of us within us, that nurtures and takes care of ourselves. It is the healthy part of ourselves that soothes the parts that need comfort, reassurance, healing and bit of tlc every now and then. 

It is the part of us, that shows compassion to ourselves. The part of us, that tells us to rest, take good care, make positive choices, say no to ‘negative’ things etc 

It is the part of us that encourages SELF LOVE. 

Your challenge for this week; 

Notice Her

Notice, your Inner Mother throughout the week, when ‘she’ appears, guiding you to look after yourself? What does this feel like? Do you ignore it? Do you delay or postpone your Self Care? 

What is that part saying or guiding you to do? 

Make Space for her

Make space  for your inner mother. Give her time and space. Acknowledge her and spend a few moments to tune into the guidance. Your challenge is to act upon the guidance. 

Honor what that part of you is guiding you to do – take action on daily things. 

Practice listening to that part of you which encourages Self Care and Self Love. Notice the parts in you which act as barriers to this – the parts that cause conflict and make you feel like you should not take time out for yourself in a positive way. 

Face the conflict 

Try not to allow any negative thoughts to potentially get in the way of your Self Love. 

‘I deserve to be happy. I overcome any barriers getting in the way of me developing more Self Love.’ (Read this affirmation out loud, repeat it a few times) – When you notice negative thoughts then replace them with this affirmation. Say it out loud or in your mind. 

Celebration of maternal bonds

Check out my previous post from 2016, where I touch upon how counselling can help you to develop the inner mother . 

By developing and embracing your internal mother, you begin to feel more content within yourselves. ‘Last week on social media I asked the question, if you feel at home within yourself’  40 % of you said no, that you don’t. 

Practice developing Self Love – the more you learn to love and accept yourself, the more at home you will feel within yourself. 

Have a great week. 

Sukhi

25th Feb – Weekly Challenge – Post Valentines Alchemy

Post Valentines Trip

I spent the week post valentines, in a village in India (after 26 years) from where my mum’s family originate from, to celebrate a family wedding.

We were joined by family from across the globe, different ages and generations of family gathered from Canada, Africa and the USA. Some meeting after several years!

Emotions were mixed, remembering those we’d sadly lost during the time in between, with feelings of happiness for new beginnings that lie ahead. 

“Family, like branches in a tree, we all grow in different directions, yet our roots remain as one.” – Author Unknown. 

Our family roots deeply embedded in the history of this little village. Now, the majority of us reside outside of India acquiring different lifestyles to each other, perhaps holding somewhat different attitudes and values from another. Our aspirations and dreams also varying.  Although we are defined by the same RACE, our ETHNIC and CULTURAL experiences differ.  

All these differences make us ‘UNIQUE’ – a topic we explored a few weeks ago; ‘What makes you, you?’ 

An Unspoken Understanding and Acceptance

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE (despite all our differences) connected each and every one of us together during this time in India.

Unconditional love is the template to all relationships, including the one with ourselves. As a human race, we are all so diverse, yet so similar – in that the one thing that connects us is the language of love; the desire to love and be loved… which lies in being truly accepted by another. 

It’s not just about romantic love! 

Valentines, would have been determined by your views and personal circumstances, but as the 5 Day Valentines Love Challenge was not just based on ‘romantic love’ I trust that you would have connected with the love for yourself and in turn for others around you, despite the relationship label.  

The Alchemist 

On the plane ride back from India, I started to read ‘The Alchemist’, it’s quite an old book, first published in 1988, so might already have been read by many of you, if not it is worth a read!

I have not yet finished the book, but it is about FOLLOWING YOUR DREAMS.  To do this we must let go of others expectations and judgements, find the love within us and follow our heart. We must realise that hardships on the way are actually blessings in disguise and we must not allow fear to defeat us. When your dream is within reach, it’s about having the courage to finally grasp it and fulfil it, and beat any temptation to sabotage something you so truly want. 

 

This Weeks Challenge

An Alchemist is someone who turns any metal into gold – so metaphorically speaking an Alchemist is someone who can turn anything into something beautiful. It can turn Darkness into Light, it can turn Hate into Love

So Your Challenge For This Week: Is to practice ALCHEMY! 

Stop, pause….. think…….respond with Love. Don’t react. Respond. 

When you feel fear, doubt, or any other negative emotion – show yourself love, be kind to yourself – don’t be defeated by these feelings. Today I felt uncertainty for the first time in a while. I had to check out my Self Care Tool Kit, and decide what I needed to do in order to deal with the feelings associated with upcoming changes.  

Don’t ignore the feelings you get, acknowledge them and then turn them into something positive; self compassion, self love or do something creative or physical. 

When you are faced with a challenging situation or person, respond to them with compassion, understanding and love. Don’t take it personally – don’t allow negative feelings from them to project onto you. Sometimes it can help to visualise a see-through shield around you when you are with such people. Imagine that any negativity from others bounces off this shield and returns back to them with love. 

So are  you up for this challenge? Are you ready to transmute fear, doubt, guilt and any other uncomfortable feeling  and turn it into LOVE?

I look forward to hearing about how you got on!

Until next week – Love and Light,

Sukhi  

 

 

 

 

Day 5- What is important in a partnership to you?

Day 5, of the Valentines Love Challenge!

I write this as I get ready to jet off to India in a couple of hours, to celebrate a family wedding – so love will be in the air!

What do you need in a partnership/relationship to keep love in the air?

Quite often we think  of the things we don’t want in a partner, rather than thinking of the things we want. Have you ever just thought about what DO YOU WANT? Rather than what you don’t..

If you are single have a think – write down, for example I want my partner to be…….. understanding, fun, easy to talk to, adventurous… think of what you really WANT!

If you are in a relationship, you can do the same. Don’t focus on your partners flaws – we all have them right? Focus on what you already have in your relationship, that you LOVE! Also think about what you want more of in your relationship – or maybe you want something NEW or DIFFERENT in your relationship.

Write all these down. Visualise that you already have them. How does that feel? Focus on the feelings of GAIN not LOSS. This can help to elevate your relationship to the next level.

Finally what are the most important things in a relationship to you?

Relationships are 50 / 50. All you can do is be responsible for doing you 50% . 

Communication is key – To me, communication is really important in a relationship. When is the last time you spent time communicating with your partner, not just about the daily things you need to do, but about ideas, concepts, life in general, how you feel about something. 

Express, don’t repress – If you have something on your mind it’s best to share it with each other. Where we stop communicating, we create distance. Assumptions and misunderstandings begin. I think in a relationship you should be able to talk to your partner about anything – even if you have different views, it is about accepting that there are differences, but that is OK. 

What are the most important things in a relationship to you?

We need to Love, Honor and Respect ourselves first (Words from my Reiki Teacher). It is then, we build our own self worth and begin to believe that we do deserve to be happy. 

I’ll leave you to ponder on the above. 

Thank You for taking part in this Challenge – It would be great to hear your feedback!

Love and Light!

Sukhi

 

 

Day 4 – What is True Love?

Happy Post Valentine’s Day! 

What is true love?  Just a few thoughts from me…

True love is loving without expectations –  Accepting each other for the way you are. When we start to put expectations on each other, we start to expect change right, so how is that accepting each other. What do you think?

True love works through stuff-  Every couple has ups and downs, but true love is when you both work it out  – Take responsibility for your actions and not slip into blame. It’s owning your stuff and moving on from it!

True Love is freedom – Loving without ‘attachment’, not ‘clinging’, or ‘possessing’. Allowing each other to spread their wings. 

True Love is growing together – Allowing each other to grow. Encouraging each other to be true to themselves.  True love is allowing each other to evolve and transform.

True love is following your heart and instincts – It is said that we take the biggest risks with our hearts. True love is not allowing the ego to get in the way of the heart. True love is letting go of the ‘mind’ and loving from the heart space. Do you agree?

True Love is being a unit – Coming together as a ‘unit’ as well as encouraging individuality, is true love. Both need to exist. Not one or the other. Being yourselves as individuals, and coming together as a couple. 

True Love is letting go – Not holding grudges, but communicating about what has bothered you and moving on from it. Not holding on to things from the past. True love let’s that go. Acknowledge it, resolve it, accept it and move on!

True Love accepts difference – We are all unique – you may have things in common with your partner (which I believe you do need, what do you think?), but we also need to accept each others differences. 

True Love is not Black or White, it isn’t even Grey – It is colourful. 

True love does not only desire to be loved – it desires to truly love. 

What does true love mean to you?

Have a wonderful Post Valentines Day. 

Love Sukhi

 

 

Day 3 – Love True Essence

Happy Valentines folks – regardless of your relationship status! Today, if you don’t have a valentine – then be your own valentine!

LOVE YOURSELF FIRST – Be your own other/better half! 

If you’re feeling a bit crap today, then do something to lift your spirits; watch your favourite movie, have  bubble bath, do something relaxing. Think about all the positive reasons to be single! Do something creative perhaps. Treat yourself to something nice!

Recently through the January Self Love Challenge, I re-connected with an old passion; art. This has in such a short time become really important to me in terms of Self Love and creativity. Is there something creative you can reconnect with?

Creatvity connects us to our soul and to the vibration of love (I believe).

“People should fall in love with their eyes closed” -Andy Warhol 

Fall in love with yourself. Accept yourself. Be more of your true self. 

What do you love (or like) about yourself? As part of this challenge ask friends what they like about you?

If you stripped away all the material things in your life, what would you be left with? For a moment, close your eyes to the world around you. Who are the most important people in your life that you love, for who they truly are? Who do you truly accept for their inner world? Who do you feel connected to on a deep level? Do you truley feel accepted by anyone else? Do you accept yourself?

Today, think about the falling in love with the essence of people. Who do you truley love? 

Have a wonderful day 🙂

Love, Sukhi

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Day 2 – Falling in love

Today, let’s think about the concept of Falling in Love!

What does this mean? How do we know we are in love? Today I  am just throwing some of my thougths and ideas out there – for you to reflect and ponder about in relation to  Falling In Love.

It would be interesting to hear your views too -There is no right or wrong – we are all unique individuals with our very unique experience of love and therefore our relationship with love will also be unique. 

Butterflies in the stomach, sleepless nights, loss of appetite…

Is this a symptom of falling in love? We have all been there right?  All the excitement at the beginning of a relationship; the honeymoon period…

All these symptoms can also be a sign of anxiety – So is there a fine line between falling in love and anxiety – Or is it excitement and fear rolled into one? Fear of rejection perhaps? 

“The Buddhists say if you meet somebody and your heart pounds, your hands shake, your knees go weak, that’s not the one. When you meet your ‘soul mate’ you’ll feel calm. No anxiety, no agitation.”

Continue reading Day 2 – Falling in love