Category Archives: On Line Challenges

21 Day Self Love Challenge – Week 3 – 3rd September

Welcome to Week 3  of the 21 Day Self Love Challenge – The final week of the challenge. 

If you have missed it so far -You can access WEEK 1 and WEEK 2  and do it in your own time!

Let’s continue to focus on our overall holistic wellbeing – our emotional health, physical health and spiritual health – Mind, Body & Soul. 

Day 15 – 3rd September

Do something today to feed your soul. How do you know when something is in line with your soul? You feel that spark, your passion is ignited, you feel inner joy, you might get goosebumps…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today do something to create those feelings. So what is soul food?

Being creative, going out into nature, meditation, spending time with people who lift your spirit (or call a friend if you can’t meet!), watch something inspirational, read a self development book – Do you have any other ideas for soul food? 

 

Day 16 – 4th September

So what did you do to look after your soul in day 15? I intended to go try Kundalni yoga but the class was not on, so I did some meditation  instead – what did you do? 

TODAYS CHALLENGE: 

So reflecting on the last couple days, I want you to now think about which aspect of your wellbeing needs more of your time and investment?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Does your MIND, BODY or SOUL need more Self Love? 

Choose one that you feel has been a bit neglected and come up with 3 ideas of how you’re going introduce more Self Love to that aspect. 

Day 17 – 5th September

Let’s rewind to Day 3 – What did you want to embrace more about yourself? 

Now let’s rewind back to Day 6 – What gave you joy on that day? What lit you up from inside? 

These could be small indicators to some of your passions.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today’s Challenge is to for a moment forget about work, chores, finances, mundane things…. and put your attention within yourself, focus on your inner self. Ask it what it’s passions are? What does it truly desire? Focus on this for a few moments. 

Write down, the first things that come into your mind… write them down even though they may not make sense. Write them down before the logical mind kicks in, which can be linked with doubt and fear. Don’t edit your thoughts! 

If you find this hard to do, then think about what you loved to do as a child, that somehow got hidden along the way as life took over! 

Would you like to create more time in your life for these things? 

Day 18 – 6th September

How was day 17? Did you tune into yourself? What hidden passions or desires did you discover? 

For Day 18, start to think about how can you put any of these desires into action? On Day 12 you identified what your self love barriers are.

 Are these the same barriers that still exist? 

 

Today’s Challenge; HOW ARE YOU GOING TO PAVE THE WAY TOWARDS YOUR PASSIONS? 

Self Love is learning to say YES to what makes you tick!

What do you need to do to start removing your barriers?  Create space? Do research? Make an action plan? Get some advice? Book a course? Declutter? Speak to a friend?Download an app? Get organised? 

What FIRST step towards your passion and desires do you need to take NOW? 

 

Day 19 – 7th September

Everything we’ve done during this Self Love Challenge has been about you creating and developing a better connection with your own very self. 

It’s been about you being more of YOU! It’s been about you focusing on yourself ( which can be really difficult for many!).

We show different parts of ourselves to different people. This is a personal choice. However if you’re hiding your true self from others due to a Self Love Barrier (fear, worried about being judged, anxious about rejection etc) then ask yourself what could happen if you allowed yourself to be more YOU each and every day. What doors could open? What opportunities might arise? How might you feel? 

I looked back at a Instagram post I added one year ago, and the message was so apt for today’s challenge; 

“The most freeing thing you can do is to be yourself. That’s when you start to attract the right people who are vibrating on your level. Letting go can be scary, but it’s scarier to be injust to yourself in the long run. Trust yourself. Your intuition never lies”

Food for thought! 

Today’s Challenge is just to try and be more of YOU today, than yesterday.

Enjoy ! 

Day 20 – 8th September

It’s our preultimate day of this challenge today! 

Today I want you to reflect back on all the challenge. Rewind to Day 1 and think about the last 21 days! What’s changed in you, what is different? Have there been shifts? Even little ones?

Are you giving yourself more time now, even if it’s 5 minutes to breathe? Have you put your needs first in some way differently than before? Did you do something creative for you? Did you learn something new about yourself during the challenge? Do you feel better from within, in any way?  WHAT DOORS HAS SELF LOVE OPENED?

Did you LET GO (In process of letting go) of your SELF LOVE BARRIERS? Have you started to close any doors? This could be unhealthy habits, facing some of your ‘shadows’ or sabotaging or self destructive ways of thinking? 

SELF LOVE IS A LIFE LONG COMMITMENT- Well done for taking time out for yourself to join in the challenge… even if all you did was to allow time to reflect on the challenge themes!!! 

So for TODAY think about what doors Self Love has started to open and also close for you!

Day 21 – 9th September

So today is the last day of the challenge, but developing your self love does not stop here! 

Today I want you to think about ONE thing at least that you are going to continue to do to maintain developing your self love! 

Are you going to focus on your mind, body or Soul? 

Are you going to create more time for you? Eat better? Meditate? Go out in nature? Keep a Self Love journal? Treat yourself more? Spend more time with people who lift you? Say NO more often. 

Are you going to continue letting go of the thoughts, feelings, cycles, habits that prevent you from feeding yourself good stuff- if so how are you going to do this?

Are you going to diarise and schedule Self Love ahead of time, to make sure you create time for it? Have that bubble bath, try that new skill, do more things that bring you joy?

Now is a good opportunity to re-scale yourself Self love level, so HOW MUCH DO YOU LOVE YOURSELF…. RIGHT NOW…Scale  0 to 10.

10 being the most. How does this compare to the beginning of the challenge?

Email me sukhi@enlightcounselling.co.uk, comment below or contact me via Social Media to let me know, that ONE THING you are intending to do to continue developing your self love!

I will continue to offer regular check ins on Facebook and Instagram where I will also notify you of new Self Love Blogs. 

Keep on sprinkling Self Love on yourself and watch it spread around you!! By taking time out for the 21 Day Self Love Challenge is a BIG ACT of SELF LOVE – so now keep it up. 

 

 

 

21 Day Self Love Challenge – Week 2 – 27th August

Hey guys welcome to the second week of the 21 Day Self Love Challenge. You will find the last 7 Days here 

If you want to read more I reflected on Self Love HERE after the first week – just some of my thoughts and reflections!

So let’s move on with the Challenge

Day 8 – 27th Aug

Start the week of with accepting yourself exactly where you are at. Accept whatever emotion you are feeling. Self Love does not mean you will always be feeling happy and wonderful all the time, it actually means you accept yourself just as you are.     

 

 

 

 

 

 

Don’t put pressure on yourself and don’t set high expectations today. JUST BE and embrace yourself however you feel today. Whatever you feel LET IT RIDE. Your emotions are never bigger than you, even though at times it may feel like it.

 

DAY 9 – 28th August 

 

Today’s challenge is to BREATHE in SELF LOVE and BREATHE out SELF DOUBT along with any other limiting feelings or beliefs. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Whenever you feel like you need a boost, to help you get out of your comfort zone or to gain a bit more confidence, simply imagine yourself breathe in SELF LOVE and breath out SELF DOUBT, 

What ever it is that you want to do, achieve or succeed in YOU CAN DO IT. 

DAY 10 – 29th August

 

Music  expresses the soul. We all resonate to music whether we use it to enhance our feelings, to lift our spirits or to block out our thoughts. You may listen to different types of music for different moods. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today’s challenge – What is your song for Self Love? Are there lyrics that you connect to in a song? Is there music that sends positive self love vibes to you. Don’t have a Self Love Song? Maybe one will come up for you today? Or can you think of one today for this challenge?

My old time favourite is Mariah Carey, Hero

“When you feel like hope is gone, look inside you and be strong and you’ll finally see the truth that a HERO lies in you”

This sings true to Self Love as it is all about you finding the hero (the strength, the love, the courage), from WITHIN.  

We all have that Hero within us. We all have the capacity to develop the love for ourselves. 

Look forward to hearing about your songs!

 

DAY 11 – 30th August

Thank you all for your song selections for Day 10 – I will write them all up soon, unless you have already seen them on instagram and Facebook! Keep ideas flowing in….

TODAY’s Challenge – Let’s organise and schedule in Self Love from…… NOW!

Time management and preparation is important to ensure you make time for Self Love…. rather than squeeze it in here and there!

So today’s challenge is diarise Self Love, for the next 2 -3 weeks. Not sure what to do? Maybe my previous blog will help with ideas. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Even if to start of with it’s just 1 hour a week! Of course you will be SPRINKLING Self Love on yourself throughout the day, but think about also specifically taking time out for yourself too!

Happy Planning 🙂 

 

DAY 12 – 31st August

So did you start looking ahead in your diaries to schedule Self Love? What you got planned? 

Today’s Challenge, is to look at your SELF LOVE BARRIERS.

Have you encountered any resistance or blocks getting in your way of developing self love?

 

Before you can progress in loving yourself more. It’s important to know what your blocks are. What’s stopping you? Once you know the blocks you can start to work on the tools to remove them! 

So what are your blocks to self love? Is it time? Money? Not seeing it as a necessity? Can’t be bothered? Feel you’re not a priority? Too busy? Too tired? Not use it? Too busy looking after others? Demanding job? 

It will be useful to have your feedback so it can be shared with others and together you can break down the blocks! 

DAY 13 – 1st September

New day, new month! New you?

Time to reflect… What’s NEW about you? Look back on the last 13 days of the challenge. What’s different about you and your perception of Self Love? What’s shifted WITHIN you? Sense the NEWNESS.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Where did you rate yourself on the Self Love Scale at the beginning of the challenge? Where would you rate yourself NOW? Check in with yourself. If you were a 6 are you a 6.5 now or even a 7? 

So the challenge for today is to REFLECT ON THE NEWNESS SELF LOVE HAS BOUGHT INTO YOUR LIFE. This could be a new idea, new way of thinking, a new feeling…

What’s new about you right now?

DAY 14 – 2nd September

One of your responses from Day 13 was ‘Learning about myself  each day’ – that was in relation to what is new about you since the challenge? 

Learning about yourself increases your self awareness. Self Love with SELF AWARENESS is important. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today’s Challenge is to reflect on HOW will more self love in your life ADD to your HAPPINESS  and enhance your overall WELLBEING.

Think of your emotional, physical and spiritual health. Write these down if you want? 

 

21 Day Self Love Challenge – Starts 20th August

Welcome to another Self Love Challenge – 21 Days of creating and developing more of a meaningful relationship with yourself – fundamentally, the key relationship which creates the foundation to all other relationships!

DAY 1 – 20th August 

So, let’s start at the beginning – before you can develop your Self Love, I want you think about, WHAT IS SELF LOVE? What does it mean? What does loving yourself look and feel like?

Before we can apply something to our life, we must understand what it is and why it is important. 

So for today that’s all I want you to do, simply reflect on the concept of SELF LOVE – ask a friend or colleague; ‘ How would you define Self Love?’ Share your definitions with me! Comment below 😃

To get more involved follow me on Instagram @enlightcounselling and Facebook. 

 So, how did you get on with the first day of the challenge? Click here to see how others defined Self Love and let us know how you got on too!

Day 2 – 21st August

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now that you have had time to reflect on what Self Love is and before we really get into the challenge, have a think about how much you LOVE YOURSELF.  Don’t rush the answer, just ponder it throughout the day.  Your initial response might be different to the response that transpires later in the day and it might be worth making note of both of those. 

Think about not just loving and accepting the ‘good’ parts of you, but also the shadow parts, so this will be things like flaws, unhealthy habits, that critical inner voice perhaps, the regretful part and so on…

Do you like these parts of yourself?  Is it possible to love these parts?  Do you want to love them? Or do you you need to accept them? Perhaps you want to be free from them ?

With all this is mind HOW MUCH DO YOU LOVE YOURSELF…. RIGHT NOW…Scale  0 to 10 – 10 being the most. 

Once you have done that, think about, how much you want to love yourself by the end of this challenge? Remember even if you move from a 6 to a 7, that is progress! 

So that’s the challenge for today! How much do you love yourself, and how much do you want to love yourself by the end of the challenge… and then we will work on how you can develop that Self Love for yourself!

Have a good day 🙂 

Day 3 – 22nd August

Hey guys now you have established how much you feel you love yourself, you might be surprised if you rated yourself higher or lower than expected, or you might be more assured that the score you initially gave yourself remained the same once you pondered on it during the day.  You would have reflected on your ‘flaw’s and the dark and ugly bits too – we will come back to these later in the challenge.

For now……

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Firstly I want you to think about one aspect of yourself  that you want to embrace more of.

For instance this may be the fun, creative, adventurous or spontaneous side of you.

It might be the loving part of you, or the bit that shys away from praise, or owning your own skills and talents.

Think of the part of you that comes out only occasionally, but actually you’d love it to come out more often, knowing how wonderful you would feel if you embraced this part more. 

What is it, that you’d like to embrace more?  

Comment below 🙂 

Day 4 – 23rd August

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 Today take 5 to 10 minutes out of your day, to sit quietly in your own company. Take some deep breaths, close your eyes and repeat this affirmation 3 times:
 
I LOVE AND EMBRACE ALL PARTS OF MYSELF 
 
I LOVE AND EMBRACE ALL PARTS OF MYSELF 
 
I LOVE AND EMBRACE ALL PARTS OF MYSELF 
 
If you get distracted by other thoughts, don’t worry – It is natural especially if you are not use to focusing on yourself like this. Just stop and start again, until you are able to repeat the affirmation 3 times, with the least distraction possible. 
 
To take this challenge further, repeat this affirmation in your mind whenever you get the chance throughout the day, like waiting in a queue for something, when your travelling, when you suddenly find a spare moment etc….
 
Also if you want notice how repeating this affirmation makes you feel and write it down.  Keeping a written journal throughout this Challenge is helpful to reflect upon your progress. 
 
Someone who took part in my 21 Day Challenge in January got in touch today to say she rated her Self Love as a 5 at that time, aiming for a 6, but felt she achieved a 6.5 and this time round 8 months later she rated herself as a 7 at the beginning of this challenge and is aiming for a 8.5. 
 

When we begin to focus on Self Love and make it part of everyday life, it begins to grow and get more resilient over time! 

 
So that’s it for today’s challenge – Go love and Embrace yourselves!
 

DAY 5 – 24th August

 
 
How did you find yesterday’s affirmations? Were you able to do them easily or did it take some work? It can feel quite a task saying you love and embrace yourself… it is not something we are taught right? The more you practice it daily though, the more comfortable it will feel. 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
TODAY – BE KIND TO YOURSELF –This will help you to make friends with the parts of you, you may have struggled to love and embrace during Day 4. 
Today hold in mind KINDNESS; Self Kindness. Show yourself kindness throughout the day.  Some ways to show yourself kindness:
 
  • Eat a healthy meal… drink more water
  • Call a friend who lifts your spirit
  • If you’re tired, have an early night 
  • If you really don’t feel like doing something, SAY NO
  • If things feel too much STOP and give yourself a few minutes break 
  • Get some fresh air 
  • Sooth yourself with a bath, candles, relaxing music
  • Focus on all the good things that happen today
  • Take a lunch break, away from your desk
  • Repeat an affirmation that you resonate with,  ‘I deserve kindness’, OR  ‘Today I am being kind to myself’, OR ‘I am surrounded with kindness from within and without’. 
You can show yourself KINDNESS in the SMALLEST DAILY ACTS 
So with that in mind, how do you think you are going to be kind to yourself today? COMMENT BELOW 🙂 
 
 

DAY 6 – 25th August 

Hopefully you found a way and created time to be kind to yourself during Day 5 What did you do?  See what others did here

Today’s exercise is a reflective one.

Just get on with your day and throughout it notice what things give you joy. When do you light up? At which point(s) do you feel the happiest?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

At the end of the day look back  at your day abd try to find at least 3 things or times (there might be more!) when you felt the most JOY and HAPPINESS. 

Self Love is allowing yourself to feel happy. Today don’t let these moments pass you by – stop and notice. 

Have a great day 🙂 

 

DAY 7 – 26th August 

So,  how did Day 6 go? Did you find joy? In what things, people or moments did you experience joy?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You have reflected on a alot this week, and although we are focusing on LOVE, we can not develop this without ALSO facing our shadows, demons, lower self – whatever you want to call it. Feelings such as low self esteem, self worth, anger, jealousy, insecurity, fear, self doubt etc. 

Slowly you can aim to embrace all these parts (As Day 4), by starting to face them head on rather than avoiding them (which is what we naturally do, in order to protect ourselves from experiencing uncomfortable feelings). 

So for TODAY, give yourself acknowledgement for sticking to this challenge so far! WELL DONE! Continue to NOTICE JOY today but this time also notice when a SHADOW TYPE OF FEELING emerges. Then in your mind (or out loud) say: 

‘I am patiently beginning to love you more each day’ 

Keep repeating this until the feeling shifts, or reduces… even if slightly. Then continue with your day with the concept of Joy at the forefront of your mind again. 

Have a great day and keep spreading the love 🙂 

Challenge Updates

Hey!

A few updates about future blogs and on-line challenges!

Weekly Challenges;

There is going to be a slight shift to the Weekly Challenges, on the Website. If you follow me on Instagram @enlightcounselling you will know that I am posting regular challenges and questions on there for you to get involved in.

Post Your Question; 

I am interested in what you want to hear? What topics are of interest to you? Do you have a question, that you want me to post? Curious about what other’s views are? Post your question to me, for me to anonymously ask the public on your behalf.

Future Self Letter Opening Challenge:

Following the 21 Day Self Love Challenge in January, it is now time to open the Love Letter you wrote to yourself – Access the challenge here

Articles; 

Interested in writing an article for Enlight? Get in touch, if this is something you would like to do. 

Blog; 

This will continue thriving to provide inspiration around your personal development.

Thank you for your support and engagement 🙂

Love, Sukhi 🙂 

 

Future Self – Letter Opening Challenge!

Hi Everyone – Welcome back!

If you took part in the 21 Day Self Love Challenge in January – you will recall that we closed the challenge by you writing a LOVE LETTER to yourself. You wrote this in January for the attention of your future self – to be opened week commencing 16th April! Well  it’s that time already!

Your Love Letter Reminder; 

In your letter you wrote; 

Dear (Your name) –  The future me. 

I am writing you this letter, to remind you (just in case you forgot!), about  The Self Love Challenge you took part in January 2018. 

Before The Self Love Challenge, you thought Self Love was……….

As you did The Self Love Challenge, you learnt that Self Love was……….

In 2017, you said you loved yourself (X) out of 10, with 10 being the highest. 

You realised that your Self Love Barriers were……….

As I read this letter from the OLD ME to the NOW ME, I have been reminded that I planned to show Self Love in the following areas:

Towards my Physical Health by……….

Towards my Emotional/Mental Health by……….

Towards my Spiritual Health by……….

When I finished The Self Love Challenge I loved myself (X) out of 10 and today as I read this letter I hoped to be a (X) out of 10.

This quote is especially for you……….

‘The biggest thing that you took away from the Challenge was…..’  

You made  a commitment to LOVE  YOURSELF over the last three months so, today let’s together reflect and celebrate this’

Time to Open your letter

Open your letter in your own time over this next week. 

If you did not write a letter, but took part in most of the challenge then maybe you can take this as an opportunity to reflect on your level of Self Care and Self Love. Were you raring to go in January, but somehow this slipped over the last few months? Or did you manage to maintain it – has your self love developed? 

If you did write a letter – open it! Read it, reflect on it – sit with it, let it digest. What areas have you developed? Which areas slipped? Discuss it with a friend if you like. 

Set another self review! 

Over the next week or so rethink setting yourself more Self Love Goals for over the next 3-4 months. Write yourself another letter perhaps? Or set a review date in your calendar ahead of time. 

I think if you diarise check in/reviews every few months, it can help to get back on track, should you fall off. It is a chance to re-evaluate and re-set goals. 

Use this week to do exactly this – reflect, review and reset goals! How are you going to shape the future you?!?

Through this, you will make Self Love a normal part of your life!

Thank you so much for taking part in this challenge! 

Love yourself more each and everyday!

Have a good week 🙂

Blessings, from Sukhi xx

 

 

 

 

25th March; Weekly Challenge -How true are you to you?

Welcome back to this weeks Self Love Challenge!

Last week was about raising your awareness and noticing how much you tune into your True Self and what potentially stops you from doing so i.e. the idea that you could hurt others in the process. 

Seesaw  – Did you notice if there was a balance between being true to yourself versus not being true to your yourself? Answer on the Facebook Poll Here. 

So, how do you know you ARE being true to yourself?

  • You accept yourself, the way you are
  • You love yourself unconditionally
  • You trust yourself, your intuition and make choices based on this
  • You make time for you and engage in things you enjoy…for you!
  • There is a sense of feeling happy and content within yourself regardless of how difficult your circumstances are
  • You feel that spark inside you and follow the things that you are passionate about
  • You are lead mostly by your heart 
  • You feel confident in yourself 

So, how do you know you are NOT being true to yourself?

  • You doubt your decisions often – you don’t trust you have made the right one
  • You are self critical often 
  • You ignore that gut feeling inside you
  • You don’t share your true thoughts and feelings with others… and even to yourself at times
  • Your head overrides your heart
  • You worry about other people judging you
  • You allow others to control you

Which one resonates with you more? Being in line with your true self or not? Perhaps you may answer differently for different times in your life. 

Lost Souls

The thing is we all get a little lost on the way at different points of our lives. We lose ourselves to the needs and expectations of others, without even consciously realising! Somehow we might end up putting ourselves last, and even forgot who we are!

Sometimes it can be years until that moment of realisation occurs – or perhaps it was there at the back of your mind all along, but you ignored it?

Are you leading the life you really want to? Are you happy in your circumstances? Perhaps the little voice inside wonders if there is more to life, more to YOU. Deep know do you know that you are not reaching your full potential? You still have dreams and desires you want to fulfil? – maybe you think they are not possible, so you gave them up… or everything else in life took priority and you ended up on the back seat? 

Getting back on track 

It is never ever too late to swap seats and get in the drivers position. It is not too late to find your way back to YOU, to connect to your own very self – After all, ultimately is that not what it is all about? The journey ‘back home’. This is the only place true happiness can be found.  

Our bodies are our physical homes –  we live in these every day! How much do you take care of this home of yours? Are you in tune with your body? Do you feel connected to it? When is the last time you gave it a spring clean? 

This Weeks Challenge 

Let’s focus on the physical body – Tune into your body. What does it feel like? Are there aches and pains – which part of the body are they on? Make a note. 

Our bodies act as channels and speak to us all the time, often through illness, pains, discomfort- do you get recurring unexplained symptoms? Wonder about what your body is trying to tell you.

For years I suffered with migraines. Years! I then about 10 years ago I started Pranayama yoga and through this realised how I carried so much stress and tension in my shoulders, and a lot of it was not even mine.  I felt responsible for others and was carrying all their ‘stuff’ on my shoulders around with me – this of course starts to weigh you down after a while.  My seesaw was out of balance.

This awareness gave me a choice to change things (Which I did) – I have never had a migraine since! Incredible right? I began to look after myself  more and balance the needs of mine and others, rather than prioritsing others needs before mine. 

What are the consequence of NOT being true to yourself?

Reflect on this. If you do not allow yourself to connect with yourself then what could happen? I’ve already mentioned physical ailments. What else might be a consequence? On instagram one person responded by writing Death of the true self.  Sounds a bit intense, but it is very true! It is the reality of not being true to you. 

What does death of the true self mean?

Which parts of us die? What does this feel like? Is this what causes anxiety? Depression? 

So going into this week we are continuing with the concept of our TRUE SELVES. 

Continue tuning into your true self and try taking some action this week – perhaps  speak your truth, express something you might usually swallow. Perhaps say NO to something because that is what your gut is guiding you to do. Notice what your body is telling you.    Wonder, if you did not respond to your true self, what might happen?

Look forward to touching base with you throughout this week on social media – I find your comments really useful, it keeps the concept of Self Love alive and hearing from you gives me great insight into your experiences and barriers to self love!

Have a great week – Love and Light

Sukhi 

 

18th March; Do you hurt others by being yourself?

Being Single Again

Earlier this week a friend reached out to me, who is struggling to come to terms with the recent loss of a long term relationship. She asked what does she need to do in order to be happy on her own? Her focus seems to have been around attracting a relationship, rather than being on her own. 

She needs to develop her SELF LOVE

No relationship with another is the answer to true happiness. This comes from feeling content and happy from within ourselves. Hoping a relationship will fill a ‘void’, is not the answer.  Learning to build a meaningful relationship with yourself is.

If you missed my 21 Day Self Love Challenge, feel free to check it out, to help you with ways to develop your Self Love, connect with your passions and find inner happiness. 

Self Love is not feeling amazing all the time!

This week I posted on Instagram that Self Love is about accepting yourself, where you are in that given moment. So it is about being kind to yourself. If you feel sad, or down Self Love is about being compassionate to yourself – not being hard on yourself. It is about allowing yourself ‘JUST TO BE’. 

Do you allow yourself ‘Just to be’?

When I asked this question on Instagram, I was surprised to find, that 53% of people said that they don’t! One comment I received was that by allowing yourself to just be, you end up hurting others.

Do you also feel this? 64% people agreed that upsetting others stops them from being themselves.

Questions to consider

If you believe that being yourself means upsetting others, ask yourself is this your perception? Are you making an assumption or pre-judging? How do you know that you will upset someone? What evidence is there?

If you find it is true that you being you means upsetting others, then wonder about ‘acceptance’ – one key factor that underpins healthy relationships. Are others not accepting you? Are others not allowing you to be? 

Or are you feeling responsible for others feelings? So, if someone did feel upset by you being authentic then are they not responsible for their own feelings? Not you? 

These might feel like challenging questions, so do take care when reflecting on them. 

THIS WEEKS CHALLENGE – Be Bold, Be Brave Enough to Be Your True Self – Queen Latifah 

Become aware everyday this week about how you are, how you behave, how you respond – Notice if you are being yourself. Are you really saying what you truly feel or think? 

Notice how much time are you spending doing things for other people, or being in situations you don’t really want to be in. Of course, we will always be in these situations, however I want you to notice how often you are in such situations compared to those that you truly do want to be in. 

Seesaw 

Is there a balance? Are you doing more of what you don’t want, than what you do want? If you are doing more of what you do want, then that is great! You are demonstrating that you are taking your needs into account and finding a way to priortise them. This is Self Love. 

If you are not doing this, then imagine what it might feel like to be able to be more of your true self and to show other people this too.  Imagine how you might feel if you allowed yourself to express what you truly want to, rather than hiding it? 

Pay attention to what stops you from allowing yourself from being you? Is it other people, or is it you? Is there such a thing as others stopping us, or is it more that we allow others to?

* Please note that I am not referring to relationships where there is domestic abuse. If you need further advice on this please call this helpline. 

Raising our self awareness gives us the power to make changes

This weeks challenge is to  just raise your self awareness, notice and become more conscious of the things you might usually do by default. 

Until next week, take care and remember that once we become aware, we then begin to see things as they are, and we can then make a choice to change things…if we want to. 

Bye for now!

Sukhi

 

 

 

11th March; Weekly Challenge; Your Inner Mother

Happy Mother’s Day to all those celebrating in the UK. 

I think it is also important to acknowledge that today not everyone will be celebrating Mothers Day due to loss and separation

Your Inner Mother

This week, let’s focus on developing our Self Love, by tapping more into our internal mother! 

This is the part of us within us, that nurtures and takes care of ourselves. It is the healthy part of ourselves that soothes the parts that need comfort, reassurance, healing and bit of tlc every now and then. 

It is the part of us, that shows compassion to ourselves. The part of us, that tells us to rest, take good care, make positive choices, say no to ‘negative’ things etc 

It is the part of us that encourages SELF LOVE. 

Your challenge for this week; 

Notice Her

Notice, your Inner Mother throughout the week, when ‘she’ appears, guiding you to look after yourself? What does this feel like? Do you ignore it? Do you delay or postpone your Self Care? 

What is that part saying or guiding you to do? 

Make Space for her

Make space  for your inner mother. Give her time and space. Acknowledge her and spend a few moments to tune into the guidance. Your challenge is to act upon the guidance. 

Honor what that part of you is guiding you to do – take action on daily things. 

Practice listening to that part of you which encourages Self Care and Self Love. Notice the parts in you which act as barriers to this – the parts that cause conflict and make you feel like you should not take time out for yourself in a positive way. 

Face the conflict 

Try not to allow any negative thoughts to potentially get in the way of your Self Love. 

‘I deserve to be happy. I overcome any barriers getting in the way of me developing more Self Love.’ (Read this affirmation out loud, repeat it a few times) – When you notice negative thoughts then replace them with this affirmation. Say it out loud or in your mind. 

Celebration of maternal bonds

Check out my previous post from 2016, where I touch upon how counselling can help you to develop the inner mother . 

By developing and embracing your internal mother, you begin to feel more content within yourselves. ‘Last week on social media I asked the question, if you feel at home within yourself’  40 % of you said no, that you don’t. 

Practice developing Self Love – the more you learn to love and accept yourself, the more at home you will feel within yourself. 

Have a great week. 

Sukhi

25th Feb – Weekly Challenge – Post Valentines Alchemy

Post Valentines Trip

I spent the week post valentines, in a village in India (after 26 years) from where my mum’s family originate from, to celebrate a family wedding.

We were joined by family from across the globe, different ages and generations of family gathered from Canada, Africa and the USA. Some meeting after several years!

Emotions were mixed, remembering those we’d sadly lost during the time in between, with feelings of happiness for new beginnings that lie ahead. 

“Family, like branches in a tree, we all grow in different directions, yet our roots remain as one.” – Author Unknown. 

Our family roots deeply embedded in the history of this little village. Now, the majority of us reside outside of India acquiring different lifestyles to each other, perhaps holding somewhat different attitudes and values from another. Our aspirations and dreams also varying.  Although we are defined by the same RACE, our ETHNIC and CULTURAL experiences differ.  

All these differences make us ‘UNIQUE’ – a topic we explored a few weeks ago; ‘What makes you, you?’ 

An Unspoken Understanding and Acceptance

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE (despite all our differences) connected each and every one of us together during this time in India.

Unconditional love is the template to all relationships, including the one with ourselves. As a human race, we are all so diverse, yet so similar – in that the one thing that connects us is the language of love; the desire to love and be loved… which lies in being truly accepted by another. 

It’s not just about romantic love! 

Valentines, would have been determined by your views and personal circumstances, but as the 5 Day Valentines Love Challenge was not just based on ‘romantic love’ I trust that you would have connected with the love for yourself and in turn for others around you, despite the relationship label.  

The Alchemist 

On the plane ride back from India, I started to read ‘The Alchemist’, it’s quite an old book, first published in 1988, so might already have been read by many of you, if not it is worth a read!

I have not yet finished the book, but it is about FOLLOWING YOUR DREAMS.  To do this we must let go of others expectations and judgements, find the love within us and follow our heart. We must realise that hardships on the way are actually blessings in disguise and we must not allow fear to defeat us. When your dream is within reach, it’s about having the courage to finally grasp it and fulfil it, and beat any temptation to sabotage something you so truly want. 

 

This Weeks Challenge

An Alchemist is someone who turns any metal into gold – so metaphorically speaking an Alchemist is someone who can turn anything into something beautiful. It can turn Darkness into Light, it can turn Hate into Love

So Your Challenge For This Week: Is to practice ALCHEMY! 

Stop, pause….. think…….respond with Love. Don’t react. Respond. 

When you feel fear, doubt, or any other negative emotion – show yourself love, be kind to yourself – don’t be defeated by these feelings. Today I felt uncertainty for the first time in a while. I had to check out my Self Care Tool Kit, and decide what I needed to do in order to deal with the feelings associated with upcoming changes.  

Don’t ignore the feelings you get, acknowledge them and then turn them into something positive; self compassion, self love or do something creative or physical. 

When you are faced with a challenging situation or person, respond to them with compassion, understanding and love. Don’t take it personally – don’t allow negative feelings from them to project onto you. Sometimes it can help to visualise a see-through shield around you when you are with such people. Imagine that any negativity from others bounces off this shield and returns back to them with love. 

So are  you up for this challenge? Are you ready to transmute fear, doubt, guilt and any other uncomfortable feeling  and turn it into LOVE?

I look forward to hearing about how you got on!

Until next week – Love and Light,

Sukhi  

 

 

 

 

Day 5- What is important in a partnership to you?

Day 5, of the Valentines Love Challenge!

I write this as I get ready to jet off to India in a couple of hours, to celebrate a family wedding – so love will be in the air!

What do you need in a partnership/relationship to keep love in the air?

Quite often we think  of the things we don’t want in a partner, rather than thinking of the things we want. Have you ever just thought about what DO YOU WANT? Rather than what you don’t..

If you are single have a think – write down, for example I want my partner to be…….. understanding, fun, easy to talk to, adventurous… think of what you really WANT!

If you are in a relationship, you can do the same. Don’t focus on your partners flaws – we all have them right? Focus on what you already have in your relationship, that you LOVE! Also think about what you want more of in your relationship – or maybe you want something NEW or DIFFERENT in your relationship.

Write all these down. Visualise that you already have them. How does that feel? Focus on the feelings of GAIN not LOSS. This can help to elevate your relationship to the next level.

Finally what are the most important things in a relationship to you?

Relationships are 50 / 50. All you can do is be responsible for doing you 50% . 

Communication is key – To me, communication is really important in a relationship. When is the last time you spent time communicating with your partner, not just about the daily things you need to do, but about ideas, concepts, life in general, how you feel about something. 

Express, don’t repress – If you have something on your mind it’s best to share it with each other. Where we stop communicating, we create distance. Assumptions and misunderstandings begin. I think in a relationship you should be able to talk to your partner about anything – even if you have different views, it is about accepting that there are differences, but that is OK. 

What are the most important things in a relationship to you?

We need to Love, Honor and Respect ourselves first (Words from my Reiki Teacher). It is then, we build our own self worth and begin to believe that we do deserve to be happy. 

I’ll leave you to ponder on the above. 

Thank You for taking part in this Challenge – It would be great to hear your feedback!

Love and Light!

Sukhi