So, I woke up this morning feeling that I need to write and share a message… So here goes, I’m ready with my coffee at 08:20am on Saturday morning before I begin my day!
What lead me to write today?
Oh my! The energy shifts! My own recent experience of what I would define as ’emotional turmoil’ – the ‘head versus heart’ conflict. Another layer of the past resurfacing as it needs ‘looking at’. People reaching out to me who have been feeling the same! Something in the ‘collective air?’
The Resurfacing Past
We have a choice don’t we when the past comes knocking on our door? We can ignore it and pretend it is not there or we can open the door ‘wide open’ and let the past enter our present world and uncontrollably cause havoc or we can slowly open the door, pop our head through and ask ‘What do you want this time?’
What’s normally your approach? Can you resonate with this?
Many Shapes and Forms
The past can reappear in many ways! It can be subtle or it can come with a bang and knock you off your feet! It might be an actual person who comes back or someone who reminds you of them. It may be a similar situation presenting itself now which triggers memories of an unpleasant time. It could be the temptation to step into another unhealthy self sabotaging cycle, that you worked so hard to free yourself from – This is a test!
It could be a song, a smell or something someone says and before you know it you hear the knock on the door again!
Unrelated and Irrational
What if you’re just getting on with life as you normally do, you’re quite content and happy – you do a lot of self care and are usually really good at looking after yourself- but somethings happened causing you to feel off balance. You’re faced with a gush of emotions that seem totally unrelated to your present circumstances but no matter how much self care you put in place the feelings just aren’t shifting!!!
This week I’ve had many people reach out to me who could relate to the above – including myself.
Allow the Residue
When we are ready to face another layer or aspect of healing, the past can often re-appear and although this can feel really really shitty and it’s tempting to stick that padlock on the door and throw away the key, letting your past revisit and seeing what it wants is the only way forward!
There might be a little bit of residue that needs to be released and by ‘allowing’ this to work it’s way through you, you will free yourself from it, otherwise it will just stand on the other side of the door, knocking… knocking… and knocking.
This is not like me!
The past might make you feel as if you are someone else. Remember your past does not define you! You may feel out of character. Remember this ‘was’ an aspect of you, IT IS NOT YOU NOW.
Your past wants you to let go of it now, it does not want to be locked on the other side of the door. It does not want to be a prisoner, it wants to be free. It does not want you do be scared of it, it wants you to learn why it happened. It does not want you to avoid it, it wants you to embrace it and integrate it’s lessons into your ‘present’.
Trust your Past
When your past reappears trust it is with a very good reason – A lesson, a reminder of how much you have actually grown, a test to see how much you will love yourself NOW not to repeat something unhealthy, an opportunity to do it differently this time and many many more reasons!
Your past may want you to let go of all the pain you have been holding on to. Emotions that did not feel safe at the time to release, but now you are READY and you are SAFE and you CAN DO IT!
Trust in the timing of your past showing up again!
Up your Self Care
At a time like this, up your self care. Put yourself first. Be kind to yourself. Make yourself the priority. Cry, scream, go for a walk, talk to someone, have an early night, meditate, say no to others, write, draw, do whatever it is your heart and soul are guiding you to do!
I spent more time on my own, and querying why the past was coming up for me now? What do I need to let go off? Why do I feel closed off, is it fear, doubt or is it intuition? But if you have to ask if it is intuition, then it clearly isn’t. When it is intuition – YOU JUST KNOW – you don’t need to ask.
So I knew it was the ‘mind’, controlling the ‘heart’ and I needed to find a way to hear the mind without it controlling me and learn to tame it. I needed to find my heart again which due to the domination of the mind had ran into hiding! Yes sometimes our heart abandons us, but take this as a BIG CLUE that it needs you to do some healing work!
You Already Know The Answers
The truth is, all the answers we need are already inside of us. They are not ‘out there’, although reaching out to people and talking can help tremendously and we often need to do this, however only you in your heart know what is really going on inside.
Others can guide us, but only we can make the changes in our lives.
Only YOU can put into ACTION what you truly want from life. Only YOU can face those ‘demons’ from the past right? The key is ‘tuning in’.
HOW TO TUNE IN – Something to try!
Get three pieces of paper and write on each of those one of these headings.
What is my mind saying to me?
What is my heart feeling? What does my heart want?
What is my soul guiding me to do? What is my soul trying to say to me?
Even if it doesn’t make sense … Carry on!
Allow the emotions that may want to accompany you during this process…allow them to come and go! Keep writing.
You will know when you have written enough for each section. You don’t have to do it all in one go. Spread it out over a few days if you want. Whatever feels right.
Once you have completed this, you have a choice to (you don’t have to) look back at what you have written. If you don’t feel the need to do this, then that’s OK – You may have already gained insight through the writing process, something may have already shifted for you – it did for me!
If you do choose to read what you’ve written then what do you see? Reflect – is there a pattern? Did you have an ‘aha’ moment? Were there surprises? What insight have you gained? What new information did you learn about yourself? What are you going to do differently now?
Doing such exercises can help you to distinguish between your thoughts and feelings and between your fears and your true desires. It can help you to highlight and resolve conflict between the head and the heart.
Remember, in the end it’s all good!
Sometimes you have to ‘break-down’ in order to ‘break-through!
Sometimes all the shit needs to come to the surface in order for you to create space for fresh new goodness.
Sometimes you need to face your shadows in order to find the light within you. The more shadows you face, the more light you will find. The more light you find, the better you will feel.
Sometimes you need to face your past (again!), in order to unlock something in the present moment that will then open doors to a brighter future!
You are Limitless
I hope you enjoyed this blog and that it helped in some way. You have the strength and ability to deal with anything. You are limitless, remember that!