Reflections on Self Love

You have now completed your first 7  Days of the Self Love Challenge – 14 more days to go!

If you missed it  you can access the last 7 days here and do the challenge in your own time. 

Spread the LOVE

The last 7 days has involved a wonderful flow and exchange of energy amongst everyone who has taken part in the challenge and  who have also shared this challenge with their friends and family. In doing so you have put SELF LOVE on their agenda, bringing it to the forefront of their minds, bringing them back to themselves which is so so important – Thank you for spreading the love. 

Time to PONDER

I wanted to just share some thoughts and reflections about SELF LOVE, before we head into the second week of the challenge. 

I am offering these to you just to ponder and reflect one, perhaps discuss with others if you like, comment below or just take away for yourself. 

No Time Like The Present

Self Love may come easily to you or actually it may be a real struggle. This depends on where you are at in your personal journey at this time of your life. Wherever that might be NOW is the perfect opportunity for you to STOP and REFLECT about where you want to be. 

Facing the BLOCKS

There were moments and periods of  my life where I would have rated myself fairly low on the Self Love Scale (Day 2 of the challenge). During some of these periods of my life facing low self esteem and low confidence would not have allowed much space for self love. The self doubt was a huge block acting as a brick wall at times. When we live for others and get caught up in what is expected from us whether it be friends, family, spouses, media or society we begin to disconnect from our True Self. When we look for reassurance and validation from others, we demonstrate a lack of self love. 

Become ‘THE ONE’ for YOU

Developing your Self Love, means validating yourself, believing in yourself, approving of yourself, accepting yourself – Become your own best friend.  

Don’t Allow Others to DEFINE YOU

It also means letting go of the worry of what others might think of you and your decisions – after all it is YOU who is living YOUR life and YOU have every right to live YOUR life how YOU want to! 

Allow your Self Love to GROW

Never would have I had imagined (in some past moments) that now in THIS MOMENT I would rate myself quite high on the Self Love Scale, and there is no shame in saying so either. Quite often we are lead to believe it is not ok to own our abilities,  own our power, our beauty, potential, talents and anything else positive. People tend to talk about their flaws much easier than the good stuff about them!  

Create solid FOUNDATIONS

In prioritising yourself does not mean you are neglecting others, it does not mean you are selfish… or ‘bragging’,  nor does it mean you only care about yourself! SELF LOVE LAYS SOLID FOUNDATIONS FOR EVERYTHING ELSE YOU DO.  It is the platform on which you base your life, your relationships, your job and so forth.

The more you love yourself, the more you will allow love into your life and the more you will be able to love others.  

Viscous Cycles – Going ROUND and ROUND 

If you don’t love and value yourselves, you will accept others who don’t really love and value you either. You may put up with crap, that you know is not right, but as you don’t value yourself on some level you will allow this behaviour to continue.

This is also true when it comes to your relationship with yourself. You may continue going round and round in unhealthy self sabotaging cycles until you raise your self love. We can get caught up in such cycles to fill something within us, which reminds me of this Blog I wrote last year.

Pour Self Love in you

When you start to prioritise Self Love you begin to move away from self doubt, self criticism, self punishment and all these lower vibrating feelings. 

Raise your vibration by developing your SELF LOVE – have you noticed already as you have been a part of the Self Love Challenge that you have experienced a shift, even if it has been a tiny one? It may be in how you feel from within, or how you see others?

Comment below if you would like to share any of your thoughts, revelations or Self Love tips!

Love and Light to you all as we embark onto the next 14 days of the Self Love Challenge

Continue to sprinkle self love,  kindness, joy, compassion on yourself and notice how this spreads around you. 

You can access Day 8 onwards here!

Sukhi 🙂 



21 Day Self Love Challenge – Week 3 – 3rd September

Welcome to Week 3  of the 21 Day Self Love Challenge – The final week of the challenge. 

If you have missed it so far -You can access WEEK 1 and WEEK 2  and do it in your own time!

Let’s continue to focus on our overall holistic wellbeing – our emotional health, physical health and spiritual health – Mind, Body & Soul. 

Day 15 – 3rd September

Do something today to feed your soul. How do you know when something is in line with your soul? You feel that spark, your passion is ignited, you feel inner joy, you might get goosebumps…








Today do something to create those feelings. So what is soul food?

Being creative, going out into nature, meditation, spending time with people who lift your spirit (or call a friend if you can’t meet!), watch something inspirational, read a self development book – Do you have any other ideas for soul food? 


Day 16 – 4th September

So what did you do to look after your soul in day 15? I intended to go try Kundalni yoga but the class was not on, so I did some meditation  instead – what did you do? 


So reflecting on the last couple days, I want you to now think about which aspect of your wellbeing needs more of your time and investment?








Does your MIND, BODY or SOUL need more Self Love? 

Choose one that you feel has been a bit neglected and come up with 3 ideas of how you’re going introduce more Self Love to that aspect. 

Day 17 – 5th September

Let’s rewind to Day 3 – What did you want to embrace more about yourself? 

Now let’s rewind back to Day 6 – What gave you joy on that day? What lit you up from inside? 

These could be small indicators to some of your passions.








Today’s Challenge is to for a moment forget about work, chores, finances, mundane things…. and put your attention within yourself, focus on your inner self. Ask it what it’s passions are? What does it truly desire? Focus on this for a few moments. 

Write down, the first things that come into your mind… write them down even though they may not make sense. Write them down before the logical mind kicks in, which can be linked with doubt and fear. Don’t edit your thoughts! 

If you find this hard to do, then think about what you loved to do as a child, that somehow got hidden along the way as life took over! 

Would you like to create more time in your life for these things? 

Day 18 – 6th September

How was day 17? Did you tune into yourself? What hidden passions or desires did you discover? 

For Day 18, start to think about how can you put any of these desires into action? On Day 12 you identified what your self love barriers are.

 Are these the same barriers that still exist? 



Self Love is learning to say YES to what makes you tick!

What do you need to do to start removing your barriers?  Create space? Do research? Make an action plan? Get some advice? Book a course? Declutter? Speak to a friend?Download an app? Get organised? 

What FIRST step towards your passion and desires do you need to take NOW? 


Day 19 – 7th September

Everything we’ve done during this Self Love Challenge has been about you creating and developing a better connection with your own very self. 

It’s been about you being more of YOU! It’s been about you focusing on yourself ( which can be really difficult for many!).

We show different parts of ourselves to different people. This is a personal choice. However if you’re hiding your true self from others due to a Self Love Barrier (fear, worried about being judged, anxious about rejection etc) then ask yourself what could happen if you allowed yourself to be more YOU each and every day. What doors could open? What opportunities might arise? How might you feel? 

I looked back at a Instagram post I added one year ago, and the message was so apt for today’s challenge; 

“The most freeing thing you can do is to be yourself. That’s when you start to attract the right people who are vibrating on your level. Letting go can be scary, but it’s scarier to be injust to yourself in the long run. Trust yourself. Your intuition never lies”

Food for thought! 

Today’s Challenge is just to try and be more of YOU today, than yesterday.

Enjoy ! 

Day 20 – 8th September

It’s our preultimate day of this challenge today! 

Today I want you to reflect back on all the challenge. Rewind to Day 1 and think about the last 21 days! What’s changed in you, what is different? Have there been shifts? Even little ones?

Are you giving yourself more time now, even if it’s 5 minutes to breathe? Have you put your needs first in some way differently than before? Did you do something creative for you? Did you learn something new about yourself during the challenge? Do you feel better from within, in any way?  WHAT DOORS HAS SELF LOVE OPENED?

Did you LET GO (In process of letting go) of your SELF LOVE BARRIERS? Have you started to close any doors? This could be unhealthy habits, facing some of your ‘shadows’ or sabotaging or self destructive ways of thinking? 

SELF LOVE IS A LIFE LONG COMMITMENT- Well done for taking time out for yourself to join in the challenge… even if all you did was to allow time to reflect on the challenge themes!!! 

So for TODAY think about what doors Self Love has started to open and also close for you!

Day 21 – 9th September

So today is the last day of the challenge, but developing your self love does not stop here! 

Today I want you to think about ONE thing at least that you are going to continue to do to maintain developing your self love! 

Are you going to focus on your mind, body or Soul? 

Are you going to create more time for you? Eat better? Meditate? Go out in nature? Keep a Self Love journal? Treat yourself more? Spend more time with people who lift you? Say NO more often. 

Are you going to continue letting go of the thoughts, feelings, cycles, habits that prevent you from feeding yourself good stuff- if so how are you going to do this?

Are you going to diarise and schedule Self Love ahead of time, to make sure you create time for it? Have that bubble bath, try that new skill, do more things that bring you joy?

Now is a good opportunity to re-scale yourself Self love level, so HOW MUCH DO YOU LOVE YOURSELF…. RIGHT NOW…Scale  0 to 10.

10 being the most. How does this compare to the beginning of the challenge?

Email me, comment below or contact me via Social Media to let me know, that ONE THING you are intending to do to continue developing your self love!

I will continue to offer regular check ins on Facebook and Instagram where I will also notify you of new Self Love Blogs. 

Keep on sprinkling Self Love on yourself and watch it spread around you!! By taking time out for the 21 Day Self Love Challenge is a BIG ACT of SELF LOVE – so now keep it up. 




21 Day Self Love Challenge – Week 2 – 27th August

Hey guys welcome to the second week of the 21 Day Self Love Challenge. You will find the last 7 Days here 

If you want to read more I reflected on Self Love HERE after the first week – just some of my thoughts and reflections!

So let’s move on with the Challenge

Day 8 – 27th Aug

Start the week of with accepting yourself exactly where you are at. Accept whatever emotion you are feeling. Self Love does not mean you will always be feeling happy and wonderful all the time, it actually means you accept yourself just as you are.     







Don’t put pressure on yourself and don’t set high expectations today. JUST BE and embrace yourself however you feel today. Whatever you feel LET IT RIDE. Your emotions are never bigger than you, even though at times it may feel like it.


DAY 9 – 28th August 


Today’s challenge is to BREATHE in SELF LOVE and BREATHE out SELF DOUBT along with any other limiting feelings or beliefs. 








Whenever you feel like you need a boost, to help you get out of your comfort zone or to gain a bit more confidence, simply imagine yourself breathe in SELF LOVE and breath out SELF DOUBT, 

What ever it is that you want to do, achieve or succeed in YOU CAN DO IT. 

DAY 10 – 29th August


Music  expresses the soul. We all resonate to music whether we use it to enhance our feelings, to lift our spirits or to block out our thoughts. You may listen to different types of music for different moods. 








Today’s challenge – What is your song for Self Love? Are there lyrics that you connect to in a song? Is there music that sends positive self love vibes to you. Don’t have a Self Love Song? Maybe one will come up for you today? Or can you think of one today for this challenge?

My old time favourite is Mariah Carey, Hero

“When you feel like hope is gone, look inside you and be strong and you’ll finally see the truth that a HERO lies in you”

This sings true to Self Love as it is all about you finding the hero (the strength, the love, the courage), from WITHIN.  

We all have that Hero within us. We all have the capacity to develop the love for ourselves. 

Look forward to hearing about your songs!


DAY 11 – 30th August

Thank you all for your song selections for Day 10 – I will write them all up soon, unless you have already seen them on instagram and Facebook! Keep ideas flowing in….

TODAY’s Challenge – Let’s organise and schedule in Self Love from…… NOW!

Time management and preparation is important to ensure you make time for Self Love…. rather than squeeze it in here and there!

So today’s challenge is diarise Self Love, for the next 2 -3 weeks. Not sure what to do? Maybe my previous blog will help with ideas. 








Even if to start of with it’s just 1 hour a week! Of course you will be SPRINKLING Self Love on yourself throughout the day, but think about also specifically taking time out for yourself too!

Happy Planning 🙂 


DAY 12 – 31st August

So did you start looking ahead in your diaries to schedule Self Love? What you got planned? 

Today’s Challenge, is to look at your SELF LOVE BARRIERS.

Have you encountered any resistance or blocks getting in your way of developing self love?


Before you can progress in loving yourself more. It’s important to know what your blocks are. What’s stopping you? Once you know the blocks you can start to work on the tools to remove them! 

So what are your blocks to self love? Is it time? Money? Not seeing it as a necessity? Can’t be bothered? Feel you’re not a priority? Too busy? Too tired? Not use it? Too busy looking after others? Demanding job? 

It will be useful to have your feedback so it can be shared with others and together you can break down the blocks! 

DAY 13 – 1st September

New day, new month! New you?

Time to reflect… What’s NEW about you? Look back on the last 13 days of the challenge. What’s different about you and your perception of Self Love? What’s shifted WITHIN you? Sense the NEWNESS.








Where did you rate yourself on the Self Love Scale at the beginning of the challenge? Where would you rate yourself NOW? Check in with yourself. If you were a 6 are you a 6.5 now or even a 7? 

So the challenge for today is to REFLECT ON THE NEWNESS SELF LOVE HAS BOUGHT INTO YOUR LIFE. This could be a new idea, new way of thinking, a new feeling…

What’s new about you right now?

DAY 14 – 2nd September

One of your responses from Day 13 was ‘Learning about myself  each day’ – that was in relation to what is new about you since the challenge? 

Learning about yourself increases your self awareness. Self Love with SELF AWARENESS is important. 








Today’s Challenge is to reflect on HOW will more self love in your life ADD to your HAPPINESS  and enhance your overall WELLBEING.

Think of your emotional, physical and spiritual health. Write these down if you want? 


Your Self Love Challenge Responses!

Day 1 – How do you define SELF LOVE? 


Knowing who you are and your values

The ability to accept the different aspects of yourself

Knowing and loving your talents

Accepting your flaws

Not being dependant on social affirmations

Accepting both sides of me, dark sides and good sides

Listening to the inner voice

Working on your higher self and not your lower self 


What a great start to the challenge, with some really insightful answers – Want to share how you define self love – leave a comment below!

Day 5 – Show yourself some kindness today. 



‘I had a coffee in complete silence today, sat quietly – enjoying my time before work’

A bubble bath!

Starting the day with meditation 

A new hair do

A pampering evening 

Curling up on the sofa, with a film and a lovely hot tea




Wow – The energy right now in England is just out of this world –  even for those not really into football (like me!).

What’s going on? Football is really coming home right….? Who knows? -but it sure is looking that way!

This collectively shared anticipation has created a somewhat ripple effect throughout England. 

Emotions are heightened – The blocks to ‘masculine vulnerability’, have crumbled down (even if only temporarily) as we travel through the World Cup. Men outwardly expressing their affection… men in tears… what usually would be stigmatised does not even hold a second thought during this time!

England is vibing on a real sense of UNITY! Strangers are talking to each other in the pubs. Passerby’s are exchanging non-verbal cues… like actual smiles…as they share the joint experience of hearing cheers echoing from a distant pub from down the road. Families are gathering around beer gardens, or snuggling up on the sofas!

Whether or not England win the world cup, it is definitely uniting people, bringing them ‘home’, almost anchoring the nation to remember this very game; running around kicking a ball, was invented in their home country, during the 19th Century and now in 2018, England really do stand a chance of winning and bringing Football home. Wow – there really is something powerful in that!? What do you think?

Like me, I don’t think you really have to be watching the football much to pick up on this wave of energy surrounding us right now.  People who would not even usually acknowledge each other on the street are chanting in harmony, ‘Footballs coming home….’ causing a vibrational raise!

This has been a free flow blog and as I reach this point I suddenly  just linked Football & Healing! There are a lot of healing elements floating around at the moment; 

  • Connectivity with others
  • A sense of belonging to ‘one’ place; England 
  • A sense of acceptance of others differences 
  • Singing/Chanting; this in its essence is sound therapy – healing through frequencies 
  • Self expression 
  • …..and many more!!!

I don’t know how much football hooliganism there has been in England, like I say I have not really been watching this closely enough, but my sense is that there has  not been much.

On a whole there is a sense of togetherness and unity and I just wanted to pop along to raise those points, unexpectedly – as writing a blog on football was really not on my agenda!

Let’s see if England, truly bring it home!

Love and Light



Almost Half Way There!

2018 – Mid Way Point Check In!

Wow! TIME, such a variable concept!  Sometimes it flies, sometimes it drags, sometimes you want it to stop in the moment you are in and at other times you want to rewind it back.

Maybe you want to escape your present moment and fast forward to the future. Sometimes you look back at a far gone memory as if it was only yesterday, so it feels like no time has actually passed!

We are now approaching the half way point of 2018What’s it been like for you so far?

How many New Year Resolutions have you kept? – Were you full of motivation at the beginning of the year and has this  faded away now? Or have you exceeded your expectations? 

Did you take part in the 21 Day Self Love Challenge in January? Have you been able to maintain this throughout the year?  What is your level of Self Love now, compared to January? You can revisit the challenge at anytime here.

NOW is a good chance to Check In with yourself and review where you are at. What has gone well? What changes have you made for your best interest? Have you come across other things you were not expecting to? Maybe new opportunities have crossed your path? Did you embrace these or turn them away? What was behind your decisions?  How is your health? Have you been taking care of yourself holistically; Mind, Body and Soul? 

Moving Forward, what do you feel you need to change, maintain or let go off? What do you want more of in your life? What steps do you need to take in order to achieve this? Do you need to make an action plan? This previous blog post might help to inspire you; Simple Ways to Create More Happiness. 

Celebrate what has gone well – This is important, as quite often we reflect on what we have NOT done opposed to what we HAVE done. Think about all the stuff that has gone well and all the situations you have dealt with in a positive way – those moments that gave you joy and the times you allowed yourself to feel free and go with the flow of life rather than worrying about things not in your control. 

Transition – I always say change is one constant factor in our lives. We always face change, whether it is planned or unexpected, whether you resist it or not CHANGE HAPPENS . Having gone through so many changes this past year myself (and still in transition), what has ‘anchored’ me during this time is to tune into myself, connect with my inner spirit and use my intuition to guide me to make decisions best for me. 

Your Inner Spirit – How to connect with it?  There are many ways to do this. I like to journal, meditate and reflect. I love to spend some time in solitude (which admittedly I have done less of the last 2 months due to changes  – but I have been craving it and WILL create more time for it now!)

Other ways to connect to your inner spirit, might be to go out in nature, do yoga, just ‘sitting with yourself’, taking time out for relaxing activities, being creative and doing things because you enjoy them, not because you have to do them!

Take time out for you!

‘Listen to your own voice, your own soul. Too many people listen to the noise of the world, instead of themselves’ (Leon Brown)


The more you connect with your inner spirit, the more in line you will become with your true self and your intuition will be enhanced. The key is to learn to TRUST it. 

So are you ready? Ready to take a bit of time out to do a 2018 Mid Way Point Check in!

Don’t get lost in everyday worries – take this time out to imagine and create the second half of your year. 

Love and Light


Challenge Updates


A few updates about future blogs and on-line challenges!

Weekly Challenges;

There is going to be a slight shift to the Weekly Challenges, on the Website. If you follow me on Instagram @enlightcounselling you will know that I am posting regular challenges and questions on there for you to get involved in.

Post Your Question; 

I am interested in what you want to hear? What topics are of interest to you? Do you have a question, that you want me to post? Curious about what other’s views are? Post your question to me, for me to anonymously ask the public on your behalf.

Future Self Letter Opening Challenge:

Following the 21 Day Self Love Challenge in January, it is now time to open the Love Letter you wrote to yourself – Access the challenge here


Interested in writing an article for Enlight? Get in touch, if this is something you would like to do. 


This will continue thriving to provide inspiration around your personal development.

Thank you for your support and engagement 🙂

Love, Sukhi 🙂 


Future Self – Letter Opening Challenge!

Hi Everyone – Welcome back!

If you took part in the 21 Day Self Love Challenge in January – you will recall that we closed the challenge by you writing a LOVE LETTER to yourself. You wrote this in January for the attention of your future self – to be opened week commencing 16th April! Well  it’s that time already!

Your Love Letter Reminder; 

In your letter you wrote; 

Dear (Your name) –  The future me. 

I am writing you this letter, to remind you (just in case you forgot!), about  The Self Love Challenge you took part in January 2018. 

Before The Self Love Challenge, you thought Self Love was……….

As you did The Self Love Challenge, you learnt that Self Love was……….

In 2017, you said you loved yourself (X) out of 10, with 10 being the highest. 

You realised that your Self Love Barriers were……….

As I read this letter from the OLD ME to the NOW ME, I have been reminded that I planned to show Self Love in the following areas:

Towards my Physical Health by……….

Towards my Emotional/Mental Health by……….

Towards my Spiritual Health by……….

When I finished The Self Love Challenge I loved myself (X) out of 10 and today as I read this letter I hoped to be a (X) out of 10.

This quote is especially for you……….

‘The biggest thing that you took away from the Challenge was…..’  

You made  a commitment to LOVE  YOURSELF over the last three months so, today let’s together reflect and celebrate this’

Time to Open your letter

Open your letter in your own time over this next week. 

If you did not write a letter, but took part in most of the challenge then maybe you can take this as an opportunity to reflect on your level of Self Care and Self Love. Were you raring to go in January, but somehow this slipped over the last few months? Or did you manage to maintain it – has your self love developed? 

If you did write a letter – open it! Read it, reflect on it – sit with it, let it digest. What areas have you developed? Which areas slipped? Discuss it with a friend if you like. 

Set another self review! 

Over the next week or so rethink setting yourself more Self Love Goals for over the next 3-4 months. Write yourself another letter perhaps? Or set a review date in your calendar ahead of time. 

I think if you diarise check in/reviews every few months, it can help to get back on track, should you fall off. It is a chance to re-evaluate and re-set goals. 

Use this week to do exactly this – reflect, review and reset goals! How are you going to shape the future you?!?

Through this, you will make Self Love a normal part of your life!

Thank you so much for taking part in this challenge! 

Love yourself more each and everyday!

Have a good week 🙂

Blessings, from Sukhi xx





25th March; Weekly Challenge -How true are you to you?

Welcome back to this weeks Self Love Challenge!

Last week was about raising your awareness and noticing how much you tune into your True Self and what potentially stops you from doing so i.e. the idea that you could hurt others in the process. 

Seesaw  – Did you notice if there was a balance between being true to yourself versus not being true to your yourself? Answer on the Facebook Poll Here. 

So, how do you know you ARE being true to yourself?

  • You accept yourself, the way you are
  • You love yourself unconditionally
  • You trust yourself, your intuition and make choices based on this
  • You make time for you and engage in things you enjoy…for you!
  • There is a sense of feeling happy and content within yourself regardless of how difficult your circumstances are
  • You feel that spark inside you and follow the things that you are passionate about
  • You are lead mostly by your heart 
  • You feel confident in yourself 

So, how do you know you are NOT being true to yourself?

  • You doubt your decisions often – you don’t trust you have made the right one
  • You are self critical often 
  • You ignore that gut feeling inside you
  • You don’t share your true thoughts and feelings with others… and even to yourself at times
  • Your head overrides your heart
  • You worry about other people judging you
  • You allow others to control you

Which one resonates with you more? Being in line with your true self or not? Perhaps you may answer differently for different times in your life. 

Lost Souls

The thing is we all get a little lost on the way at different points of our lives. We lose ourselves to the needs and expectations of others, without even consciously realising! Somehow we might end up putting ourselves last, and even forgot who we are!

Sometimes it can be years until that moment of realisation occurs – or perhaps it was there at the back of your mind all along, but you ignored it?

Are you leading the life you really want to? Are you happy in your circumstances? Perhaps the little voice inside wonders if there is more to life, more to YOU. Deep know do you know that you are not reaching your full potential? You still have dreams and desires you want to fulfil? – maybe you think they are not possible, so you gave them up… or everything else in life took priority and you ended up on the back seat? 

Getting back on track 

It is never ever too late to swap seats and get in the drivers position. It is not too late to find your way back to YOU, to connect to your own very self – After all, ultimately is that not what it is all about? The journey ‘back home’. This is the only place true happiness can be found.  

Our bodies are our physical homes –  we live in these every day! How much do you take care of this home of yours? Are you in tune with your body? Do you feel connected to it? When is the last time you gave it a spring clean? 

This Weeks Challenge 

Let’s focus on the physical body – Tune into your body. What does it feel like? Are there aches and pains – which part of the body are they on? Make a note. 

Our bodies act as channels and speak to us all the time, often through illness, pains, discomfort- do you get recurring unexplained symptoms? Wonder about what your body is trying to tell you.

For years I suffered with migraines. Years! I then about 10 years ago I started Pranayama yoga and through this realised how I carried so much stress and tension in my shoulders, and a lot of it was not even mine.  I felt responsible for others and was carrying all their ‘stuff’ on my shoulders around with me – this of course starts to weigh you down after a while.  My seesaw was out of balance.

This awareness gave me a choice to change things (Which I did) – I have never had a migraine since! Incredible right? I began to look after myself  more and balance the needs of mine and others, rather than prioritsing others needs before mine. 

What are the consequence of NOT being true to yourself?

Reflect on this. If you do not allow yourself to connect with yourself then what could happen? I’ve already mentioned physical ailments. What else might be a consequence? On instagram one person responded by writing Death of the true self.  Sounds a bit intense, but it is very true! It is the reality of not being true to you. 

What does death of the true self mean?

Which parts of us die? What does this feel like? Is this what causes anxiety? Depression? 

So going into this week we are continuing with the concept of our TRUE SELVES. 

Continue tuning into your true self and try taking some action this week – perhaps  speak your truth, express something you might usually swallow. Perhaps say NO to something because that is what your gut is guiding you to do. Notice what your body is telling you.    Wonder, if you did not respond to your true self, what might happen?

Look forward to touching base with you throughout this week on social media – I find your comments really useful, it keeps the concept of Self Love alive and hearing from you gives me great insight into your experiences and barriers to self love!

Have a great week – Love and Light



18th March; Do you hurt others by being yourself?

Being Single Again

Earlier this week a friend reached out to me, who is struggling to come to terms with the recent loss of a long term relationship. She asked what does she need to do in order to be happy on her own? Her focus seems to have been around attracting a relationship, rather than being on her own. 

She needs to develop her SELF LOVE

No relationship with another is the answer to true happiness. This comes from feeling content and happy from within ourselves. Hoping a relationship will fill a ‘void’, is not the answer.  Learning to build a meaningful relationship with yourself is.

If you missed my 21 Day Self Love Challenge, feel free to check it out, to help you with ways to develop your Self Love, connect with your passions and find inner happiness. 

Self Love is not feeling amazing all the time!

This week I posted on Instagram that Self Love is about accepting yourself, where you are in that given moment. So it is about being kind to yourself. If you feel sad, or down Self Love is about being compassionate to yourself – not being hard on yourself. It is about allowing yourself ‘JUST TO BE’. 

Do you allow yourself ‘Just to be’?

When I asked this question on Instagram, I was surprised to find, that 53% of people said that they don’t! One comment I received was that by allowing yourself to just be, you end up hurting others.

Do you also feel this? 64% people agreed that upsetting others stops them from being themselves.

Questions to consider

If you believe that being yourself means upsetting others, ask yourself is this your perception? Are you making an assumption or pre-judging? How do you know that you will upset someone? What evidence is there?

If you find it is true that you being you means upsetting others, then wonder about ‘acceptance’ – one key factor that underpins healthy relationships. Are others not accepting you? Are others not allowing you to be? 

Or are you feeling responsible for others feelings? So, if someone did feel upset by you being authentic then are they not responsible for their own feelings? Not you? 

These might feel like challenging questions, so do take care when reflecting on them. 

THIS WEEKS CHALLENGE – Be Bold, Be Brave Enough to Be Your True Self – Queen Latifah 

Become aware everyday this week about how you are, how you behave, how you respond – Notice if you are being yourself. Are you really saying what you truly feel or think? 

Notice how much time are you spending doing things for other people, or being in situations you don’t really want to be in. Of course, we will always be in these situations, however I want you to notice how often you are in such situations compared to those that you truly do want to be in. 


Is there a balance? Are you doing more of what you don’t want, than what you do want? If you are doing more of what you do want, then that is great! You are demonstrating that you are taking your needs into account and finding a way to priortise them. This is Self Love. 

If you are not doing this, then imagine what it might feel like to be able to be more of your true self and to show other people this too.  Imagine how you might feel if you allowed yourself to express what you truly want to, rather than hiding it? 

Pay attention to what stops you from allowing yourself from being you? Is it other people, or is it you? Is there such a thing as others stopping us, or is it more that we allow others to?

* Please note that I am not referring to relationships where there is domestic abuse. If you need further advice on this please call this helpline. 

Raising our self awareness gives us the power to make changes

This weeks challenge is to  just raise your self awareness, notice and become more conscious of the things you might usually do by default. 

Until next week, take care and remember that once we become aware, we then begin to see things as they are, and we can then make a choice to change things…if we want to. 

Bye for now!